When daddy goes back I am frozen. I dunno how to calm down, for his fingerprints on my arm begin to show through my skin and my side begins to pulse with my heart. But I jus' stare straight at the floor in front of me, tears burnin' at my eyes. I don't even know why I care- I don't like daddy anyway and he wasn't too bad. Mary's seen worse. Heck, even I've seen worse.
But, it don't matter why, all that matters is that now I feel like I've been squished under one of them trains. And I dunno if I'll ever be able to go back out there.
The want to run away then and there is so strong- that I have to grab my hands on the table to keep me here. I try takin' deep breaths, imaginin' all the things I love. But it don't help much, cause I hurt.
"You alright?"
It take me a minute to tear my gaze away from the tile, but eventually I do, lockin' eyes with Cecile. She smilin' at me- though it forced- her eyes actually seemin' to care. I slowly nod, cause the truth ain't gonna help no one. But she sees right through me, walkin' close and takin' my hand in hers. They cold but I like it that way.
"You gonna be alright?"
This time I nod, actually tellin' the truth.
"I'll be fine," I say, "It ain't that big of a deal."
But my voice sounds all wrong, cause I've run out of breath. My side aches- I think it also might be bruised- and my corset all the sudden seems even tighter.
"Here."
The voice comes from behind me, all deep and rough. I don't even have to look to know who it belongs to. Samuel. I don't turn around, so he holds it to my side for me. It cold- like some meat or frozen water. I look down and he cradlin' ice on the sore spot on my side. It feels much better. I want to sigh out loud, but I don't.
"Thank you," I murmur, lookin' away from Cecile cause I afraid I blushin'. Which don't make no sense- but these days I never do. So I don't try to find no reasonin' behind it.
"I owed you," he whispers back, not bein' any more specific. I dunno what he owes me for- but I have a feelin' it was cause he tried to make me feel all guilty. And cause he knew he was wrong.
I stand there only a minute longer, then go back to the table. If daddy were to walk in on me, standin' that close to two slaves than I'd be really dead.
But, it don't matter why, all that matters is that now I feel like I've been squished under one of them trains. And I dunno if I'll ever be able to go back out there.
The want to run away then and there is so strong- that I have to grab my hands on the table to keep me here. I try takin' deep breaths, imaginin' all the things I love. But it don't help much, cause I hurt.
"You alright?"
It take me a minute to tear my gaze away from the tile, but eventually I do, lockin' eyes with Cecile. She smilin' at me- though it forced- her eyes actually seemin' to care. I slowly nod, cause the truth ain't gonna help no one. But she sees right through me, walkin' close and takin' my hand in hers. They cold but I like it that way.
"You gonna be alright?"
This time I nod, actually tellin' the truth.
"I'll be fine," I say, "It ain't that big of a deal."
But my voice sounds all wrong, cause I've run out of breath. My side aches- I think it also might be bruised- and my corset all the sudden seems even tighter.
"Here."
The voice comes from behind me, all deep and rough. I don't even have to look to know who it belongs to. Samuel. I don't turn around, so he holds it to my side for me. It cold- like some meat or frozen water. I look down and he cradlin' ice on the sore spot on my side. It feels much better. I want to sigh out loud, but I don't.
"Thank you," I murmur, lookin' away from Cecile cause I afraid I blushin'. Which don't make no sense- but these days I never do. So I don't try to find no reasonin' behind it.
"I owed you," he whispers back, not bein' any more specific. I dunno what he owes me for- but I have a feelin' it was cause he tried to make me feel all guilty. And cause he knew he was wrong.
I stand there only a minute longer, then go back to the table. If daddy were to walk in on me, standin' that close to two slaves than I'd be really dead.
