Fo' a moment I almos' forgot she was a slave. I still saw 'er color, there starin' at me right in my eye, mockin' an' laughin' at me fo' carin' so. But that all I saw, I didn't see no slave in 'er. She was jus' a regular lady, almos' my mother, chattin' with me... an' savin' me. An' then she go an' remind me, that she jus' like them colored men out in the field. She sleep in a shack at nigh', an' work all day. She don't get nos breaks, even comin' out 'ere with me's against the rules. If daddy knew I dunno even kno' what'd he'd think, an' me myself don't like to think 'bout what he'd do. He might punish Cecile, whip 'er, or spank 'er, or even lock 'er in the cellar fo' a day or two.
I forget that daddy can do that to 'er. Cause she like a family, an' although daddy get mad at family he don't lock no one in no cellar. Sometime I forget lots of thin's. I forget she a slave, an' sometime I forget that Samuel one too. They both jus' so normal, mos' slaves ain't like that. They colored an' bad, but if I close my eyes Cecile ain't black, Samuel ain't neither. They both can talk real well, an' Samuel can write an' spell- even though he ain't supposed to. An' they white folks, cept the color of them skin.
It jus' ain't fair.
"I think I may jus' stay out 'ere a while," I finally say, "Maybe think some on howa shoul' apologize to daddy so I don't get no beatin'."
"You're in mournin'?" Cecile suggests, bein' no mo' specific. Mournin' over what exactly? Lloyd las' time think I missin' my own sister, but she there sittin' right next to me.
But before I can ask Cecile what she even mean- she gone, disappeared inta the manor. Hope no one even knew she was gone.
I end up wanderin', I debate fo' a little while to go ta that lake again, but I don't wanna get caught by daddy or, even worse, Lloyd there. Stripped down inta what I was born with, with Lloyd there to see when we ain't even married, ain't too special. An' daddy would real mad. He might even go crazy. Crazy daddy, I'd call 'em.
I see 'em from a cut out window, fo' some fresh air in some wooden shack. It the gin room, an' he there with jus' one other slave. I dunno 'er name though.
I don't plan on goin' in, but that jus' what I do. My legs go, though my mind in protest an' before I kno' it- I standin' right up next to him. But by then, my body lets my brain back to bein' leader, so I got nothin' to say. I jus' stand there an' watch 'till he looks right up at me. An' even then I got nothin' to say.
I forget that daddy can do that to 'er. Cause she like a family, an' although daddy get mad at family he don't lock no one in no cellar. Sometime I forget lots of thin's. I forget she a slave, an' sometime I forget that Samuel one too. They both jus' so normal, mos' slaves ain't like that. They colored an' bad, but if I close my eyes Cecile ain't black, Samuel ain't neither. They both can talk real well, an' Samuel can write an' spell- even though he ain't supposed to. An' they white folks, cept the color of them skin.
It jus' ain't fair.
"I think I may jus' stay out 'ere a while," I finally say, "Maybe think some on howa shoul' apologize to daddy so I don't get no beatin'."
"You're in mournin'?" Cecile suggests, bein' no mo' specific. Mournin' over what exactly? Lloyd las' time think I missin' my own sister, but she there sittin' right next to me.
But before I can ask Cecile what she even mean- she gone, disappeared inta the manor. Hope no one even knew she was gone.
I end up wanderin', I debate fo' a little while to go ta that lake again, but I don't wanna get caught by daddy or, even worse, Lloyd there. Stripped down inta what I was born with, with Lloyd there to see when we ain't even married, ain't too special. An' daddy would real mad. He might even go crazy. Crazy daddy, I'd call 'em.
I see 'em from a cut out window, fo' some fresh air in some wooden shack. It the gin room, an' he there with jus' one other slave. I dunno 'er name though.
I don't plan on goin' in, but that jus' what I do. My legs go, though my mind in protest an' before I kno' it- I standin' right up next to him. But by then, my body lets my brain back to bein' leader, so I got nothin' to say. I jus' stand there an' watch 'till he looks right up at me. An' even then I got nothin' to say.
