Finally, I ask the question I been waitin' to ask all night. I don' mean too- I really am way mo' polite than that. But it jus' kinda slips out- with all the rest of them questions.
Jus' one second ago, me an' Mary an' even Lloyd, who caught on, was all laughin', me an' Mary askin' questions, while he ignored some an' delivered one word answers to all the rest. Fo' some reason, this game got 'em in a much better mood, an' though he still barley speakin', I actually kinda enjoy his company fo' the first time. Maybe if we do get married, everythin' 'll be alrigh'. When I think that , though, my mind suddenly formulates a picture a Samuel. I can feel the tingle of his hand on mine, an' it scare me- cause I don' kno' why it happenin' an' I don't know why I suddenly feel guilty. So I don' think no mo' thoughts on marriage, an' I go back to askin' silly questions an' the air is all light 'gian- even in my mind.
Cept then I ask it. It jus' slips right out, makin' us all go stone silent. We even all stop walkin' at the same time. I sputter to take it back, in the silence, I say sorry an' that I don' mean it an' he don't gotta answer it. But it too late then, we all kno' it too late. It still in the air, an' we can't go back.
Once I say it- Mary frozen, her eyes starin' at me like I standin' there naked. She surprised, then mad, then sorta happy 'gain- cause Lloyd'll probably be cold to me now. An' possibly she'd stay under his good graces- which fo' once would make her the favorite twin. (Not countin' Miss. Lizabeth, 'course.)
She sorta give me a sly smile, all crooked like- her eyes tauntin' me. What you gonna do now? They ask. Then- how you gonna fix this? She place one hand on her hip, an' jus' starte straight at me 'till I look away. I really wanna call 'er out on this- tell her that a lady ain't supposed to be smug. But with Lloyd here an' the question still in the air- I can't brin' myself to do it.
Lloyd himself jus' looks kinda shell shocked, an' real, awfully surprised. He don't look angry- but 'is eyes are all squinty an' he blinks real fast, an' real many. He don' look at me- nor Mary, but down at the grass- followin' a little critter as it dig itself a home.
I waitin' fo' him to turn an' yell at me- with a flushed face an' clenched fists, maybe even some spit flyin' from 'is mouth. I wait fo' him to tell me to get down, so he can beat some sense inta me like daddy do sometime. But he don' do none of that stuff- cause he ain't angry. He should be though, cause I wasn't a lady when I asked: "Why you so cold an' rude all the time, Lloyd. Did you lover die or sompin'?"
Jus' one second ago, me an' Mary an' even Lloyd, who caught on, was all laughin', me an' Mary askin' questions, while he ignored some an' delivered one word answers to all the rest. Fo' some reason, this game got 'em in a much better mood, an' though he still barley speakin', I actually kinda enjoy his company fo' the first time. Maybe if we do get married, everythin' 'll be alrigh'. When I think that , though, my mind suddenly formulates a picture a Samuel. I can feel the tingle of his hand on mine, an' it scare me- cause I don' kno' why it happenin' an' I don't know why I suddenly feel guilty. So I don' think no mo' thoughts on marriage, an' I go back to askin' silly questions an' the air is all light 'gian- even in my mind.
Cept then I ask it. It jus' slips right out, makin' us all go stone silent. We even all stop walkin' at the same time. I sputter to take it back, in the silence, I say sorry an' that I don' mean it an' he don't gotta answer it. But it too late then, we all kno' it too late. It still in the air, an' we can't go back.
Once I say it- Mary frozen, her eyes starin' at me like I standin' there naked. She surprised, then mad, then sorta happy 'gain- cause Lloyd'll probably be cold to me now. An' possibly she'd stay under his good graces- which fo' once would make her the favorite twin. (Not countin' Miss. Lizabeth, 'course.)
She sorta give me a sly smile, all crooked like- her eyes tauntin' me. What you gonna do now? They ask. Then- how you gonna fix this? She place one hand on her hip, an' jus' starte straight at me 'till I look away. I really wanna call 'er out on this- tell her that a lady ain't supposed to be smug. But with Lloyd here an' the question still in the air- I can't brin' myself to do it.
Lloyd himself jus' looks kinda shell shocked, an' real, awfully surprised. He don't look angry- but 'is eyes are all squinty an' he blinks real fast, an' real many. He don' look at me- nor Mary, but down at the grass- followin' a little critter as it dig itself a home.
I waitin' fo' him to turn an' yell at me- with a flushed face an' clenched fists, maybe even some spit flyin' from 'is mouth. I wait fo' him to tell me to get down, so he can beat some sense inta me like daddy do sometime. But he don' do none of that stuff- cause he ain't angry. He should be though, cause I wasn't a lady when I asked: "Why you so cold an' rude all the time, Lloyd. Did you lover die or sompin'?"
