I wait an' wait, lookin' to my mind fo' a lie. Fo' somethin' believable an' half-way true true that I can jus' tell 'em. It don't never come, an' eventually the waitin' 'comes too lon' an' my words spill out.
"I wanted ta see ya."
The other slave look over, droppin' 'is hands from the machine an' starin' at me as I've officially lost my min'. Then he blinks, once...twice an' remembers. He think I lyin', I can see it in 'is eyes, but he wron'. I never bean mo' honest in my life. An' while, maybe this ain't the best time ta say somethin' like that it would've killed me if I hadn't. I sick a lyin'. An' maybe Samuel deserve to kno' the truth.
Jus' fo' mo explanation, I add, "I wanted to see how you is."
"That it, huh?"
Samuel don't believe me neither. But, really, I don' blame 'em. I wouldn't believe no white gurl, 'specially no white gurl who ain't ever tell the truth to nobody. I guess, he jus' got no reason to 'ear my words as they is, he got no reason to believe me.
"I jus-." I sigh, at a loss of words, too scared to say somethin' mo' honest, an' too scared to lie. If I coul' fin' the in between I would, truly, but they ain't one. I can't never fin' no middle groun'.
"You jus' wha'?"
"Nothin'- it ain't real important."
"Why can't you jus' tell me? You jus' wha'?"
"Nothin'."
"You jus' wha'?"
"I jus' wanted to talk to you, alrigh'. I jus' wanted to talk to someone."
I yellin' again, wantin' to start 'nother fight. But my words don't match up with my voice, an' fo' a moment all I see 'is confusion in 'is eyes. An' then he got it. He finally got it.
"You can stay 'ere if you like, but I ain't able to speak ta much," he finally say, starin' at me like he wanna say mo'. But he don't, an' neither do I. An' eventually he get sick of me an' 'em havin' a starin' match. So 'e look away an' I sit down, watchin' the fingers on 'is right hand do all the work. I don't look at 'is left. I can't- he don' like me too, so I don'.
The other slave stare at us, at how close we is, even though I've been closer, an' makes no move to go back to work. I don't say nothin' though, cause that ain't my job an' I jus' watch 'em, watch me.
"I wanted ta see ya."
The other slave look over, droppin' 'is hands from the machine an' starin' at me as I've officially lost my min'. Then he blinks, once...twice an' remembers. He think I lyin', I can see it in 'is eyes, but he wron'. I never bean mo' honest in my life. An' while, maybe this ain't the best time ta say somethin' like that it would've killed me if I hadn't. I sick a lyin'. An' maybe Samuel deserve to kno' the truth.
Jus' fo' mo explanation, I add, "I wanted to see how you is."
"That it, huh?"
Samuel don't believe me neither. But, really, I don' blame 'em. I wouldn't believe no white gurl, 'specially no white gurl who ain't ever tell the truth to nobody. I guess, he jus' got no reason to 'ear my words as they is, he got no reason to believe me.
"I jus-." I sigh, at a loss of words, too scared to say somethin' mo' honest, an' too scared to lie. If I coul' fin' the in between I would, truly, but they ain't one. I can't never fin' no middle groun'.
"You jus' wha'?"
"Nothin'- it ain't real important."
"Why can't you jus' tell me? You jus' wha'?"
"Nothin'."
"You jus' wha'?"
"I jus' wanted to talk to you, alrigh'. I jus' wanted to talk to someone."
I yellin' again, wantin' to start 'nother fight. But my words don't match up with my voice, an' fo' a moment all I see 'is confusion in 'is eyes. An' then he got it. He finally got it.
"You can stay 'ere if you like, but I ain't able to speak ta much," he finally say, starin' at me like he wanna say mo'. But he don't, an' neither do I. An' eventually he get sick of me an' 'em havin' a starin' match. So 'e look away an' I sit down, watchin' the fingers on 'is right hand do all the work. I don't look at 'is left. I can't- he don' like me too, so I don'.
The other slave stare at us, at how close we is, even though I've been closer, an' makes no move to go back to work. I don't say nothin' though, cause that ain't my job an' I jus' watch 'em, watch me.
