"Find out what?" I say, exasperated. Why won't she jus give me no straight answers, all she doin is dancin round what I really want to know. Where is James? An' why ain't he at military school? I wanna scream, Loud an' lon' jus to get her to hear me. She ain't tellin' me nothin'. I dont like this story.... Why is it true.? What have I even done, God?
"Who yeur daddy really is."
"What do you even mean, by that?"
She buries her face in 'er hands, an' begins to cry. I ain't real sure what to do, so I sit there, stiff as a bored an' watch. She seem to be sayin' sompin' but I can't hear, so I don't answer, an' jus wait it all out. I never been good with criers, they make me mo' scared. I mean, cause if she cryin' then... Then it must be real bad.
Finally: "Wha' I mean..." she sniffles, liftin' her head, to meet my gaze. "Maybe this a story fo' another day. You look real tired, an' so am I... I'll just tell you..." sniff. "Another day."
No. No. She had that option once before, but now I wanna, kno' I gotta kno'. Where is my brother? Is he up there with mom, or, alive. Can I still write to him, or were those lessons a waste? I guess not a waste, no... I'd never give up the time spent with Samuel, but maybe we coulda been doin' sompin' else...
"Tell me now." I harsh, though I don't mean to be. I guess I jus sick a bein' nice.
"I..." sniff. "Jus' can't tell you, I don't..." sniff. "Kno' everythin' an' there blanks I can't fill an'..." sniff. "I jus so ashamed, oh, Corinne if you even knew..."
"Then why don't yous tell me?"
"I jus..."
"Can't, I kno'.
She let out a sigh, an' then begin her sobbin' again. I never seen the misses look so awful, with red, red eyes an' a dried up nose. Even her skin all splotchy, not the normal glowin' pale, white.
"You don't gotta tell me the story now," I say, "At least not all of it. But... I need to kno bout my brother. Is he dead?"
She look up to me, frozen, her tears now silent. When I see her look, I grow scared.
"Well?"
"I dunno..." sniff. "I jus don't know."
"Who yeur daddy really is."
"What do you even mean, by that?"
She buries her face in 'er hands, an' begins to cry. I ain't real sure what to do, so I sit there, stiff as a bored an' watch. She seem to be sayin' sompin' but I can't hear, so I don't answer, an' jus wait it all out. I never been good with criers, they make me mo' scared. I mean, cause if she cryin' then... Then it must be real bad.
Finally: "Wha' I mean..." she sniffles, liftin' her head, to meet my gaze. "Maybe this a story fo' another day. You look real tired, an' so am I... I'll just tell you..." sniff. "Another day."
No. No. She had that option once before, but now I wanna, kno' I gotta kno'. Where is my brother? Is he up there with mom, or, alive. Can I still write to him, or were those lessons a waste? I guess not a waste, no... I'd never give up the time spent with Samuel, but maybe we coulda been doin' sompin' else...
"Tell me now." I harsh, though I don't mean to be. I guess I jus sick a bein' nice.
"I..." sniff. "Jus' can't tell you, I don't..." sniff. "Kno' everythin' an' there blanks I can't fill an'..." sniff. "I jus so ashamed, oh, Corinne if you even knew..."
"Then why don't yous tell me?"
"I jus..."
"Can't, I kno'.
She let out a sigh, an' then begin her sobbin' again. I never seen the misses look so awful, with red, red eyes an' a dried up nose. Even her skin all splotchy, not the normal glowin' pale, white.
"You don't gotta tell me the story now," I say, "At least not all of it. But... I need to kno bout my brother. Is he dead?"
She look up to me, frozen, her tears now silent. When I see her look, I grow scared.
"Well?"
"I dunno..." sniff. "I jus don't know."
