It been two weeks since we started, Samuel an' I. I gotten through z, the trickiest letta an' we began spellin' jus' last nigh'. I only skipped out on 'em once, when I was too 'fraid of leavin' the house. Daddy was still up that nigh', ya see, an' was pacin' in 'is office, murmurmurin' sompin' to himself that sounded real important. I debated then if I should go outside to Samuel- we was workin' on L that night, go upstairs or evesdrop an' see if I could figger why daddy all stressed. But lately he been too mad at me, wha' with Lloyd practically avoidin' me at all day an' night an' my mishap with the horse. I guess I ain't lady 'nough fo' him, or at least that wha' Mary an' Miss. Lizabeth tell me.
They say: "Lloyd jus' don' like you 'cause you got too much a brain. An' he don' want no lady of his showin' him up some."
Personally- I jus' think it cause of that gurl he got back home. But I don' say nothin'- cause Lloyd never admit to that.
So I decided that night jus' ta go back ta my bed. Daddy, although probably not, could catch me when I listen in, an' sure as all get out he'd hear me open the door. When I was in my room that night- I looked straight out the window ta see if I could see Samuel. But no matter with the blinkin' white stars, it was jus' to dark out an' he was swallowed up by the night.
When I returned ta him the next night, a practiced explanation on my tongue, I was so nervous that I couldn't say nothin'. I mean, I sure didn't owe 'em nothin'- he a slave after all- but I felt like I had ta say somethin'- make me feel like I ain't too bad a person. An' plus Samuel my friend now, he like Cecile in a way- jus' not quite as important yet. But sure as heck- my words were too stuck in my throat, an' the night went on with me an' him both pretendin' that it never happened.
I still don' kno' why he think I didn't show up that night. Maybe he thought I was scared- maybe he thought I jus' didn't like 'em no mo' an' I gathered up enough sense to stay away from a black man. Maybe he didn't think I'd ever show again. Maybe he didn't even show up neither.
But either way he was still there, waitin' fo me that next night. An' even if he thought I chickened out- that I was scared of bein' so close to a man as dark skinned as him- he didn't lose no faith in me.
Tonight we doin' spellin' 'gain- which way harder than I thought. I dunno if I ever be able to do it- I dunno if I ever gonna get that letter to James. Sighin'- I get up an' leave my chamber- ready to the start the day- countin' down 'till the moon come up an' replace the sun.
They say: "Lloyd jus' don' like you 'cause you got too much a brain. An' he don' want no lady of his showin' him up some."
Personally- I jus' think it cause of that gurl he got back home. But I don' say nothin'- cause Lloyd never admit to that.
So I decided that night jus' ta go back ta my bed. Daddy, although probably not, could catch me when I listen in, an' sure as all get out he'd hear me open the door. When I was in my room that night- I looked straight out the window ta see if I could see Samuel. But no matter with the blinkin' white stars, it was jus' to dark out an' he was swallowed up by the night.
When I returned ta him the next night, a practiced explanation on my tongue, I was so nervous that I couldn't say nothin'. I mean, I sure didn't owe 'em nothin'- he a slave after all- but I felt like I had ta say somethin'- make me feel like I ain't too bad a person. An' plus Samuel my friend now, he like Cecile in a way- jus' not quite as important yet. But sure as heck- my words were too stuck in my throat, an' the night went on with me an' him both pretendin' that it never happened.
I still don' kno' why he think I didn't show up that night. Maybe he thought I was scared- maybe he thought I jus' didn't like 'em no mo' an' I gathered up enough sense to stay away from a black man. Maybe he didn't think I'd ever show again. Maybe he didn't even show up neither.
But either way he was still there, waitin' fo me that next night. An' even if he thought I chickened out- that I was scared of bein' so close to a man as dark skinned as him- he didn't lose no faith in me.
Tonight we doin' spellin' 'gain- which way harder than I thought. I dunno if I ever be able to do it- I dunno if I ever gonna get that letter to James. Sighin'- I get up an' leave my chamber- ready to the start the day- countin' down 'till the moon come up an' replace the sun.
