He ain't there when I get to 'es shack, but I so upset that I don't leave. I dunno if it means I'm gonna wait for 'em or jus' stay 'til I clear my mind. It weird, cause sometimes my own actions don't make no sense to myself. Maybe daddy's level-headed girl really ain't level-headed.
I sit in a pile of hay and ruble, not really doin' nothin'. I really ain't thinkin' 'bout much, jus' litlle memories of James. He was a pudgy kid, 'till he grew a couple inches in jus' one year. He still relatively large, but in the fat way. Jus' in the large way. Daddy thinks, cause of his size, that he'd be a good military man if there were a war. But I know better, he too gentle to hurt nobody.
It ain't to lon' before I decide to leave. I don't want to run into his mother or nothin', so it ain't worth the risk. In the dirt I write hello, before brushin' it away with my foot. I'll jus' come back later.
When I get back inside, I still don't see nobody. It real quiet, like if one of the pins in my hair were to drop, I'd hear it. I'd even hear a mouse squeak.
I find myself somewhat board, pacin' round the clean parlor, with nothin' to do. For a second I even wish that Lloyd would be back here. At least he some company. I only get through the next hour by thinkin' of Mary's return. Maybe when she come back, she'll be real different and wanna stir up some trouble with me. She never did before, but that cause I'd always blame her if we caught. But this time I'll take the fall.
It a nice thought, but Mary ain't really like me. She don't wanna stir up no trouble jus' cause. She like bein' the perfect southern belle. And beside, even if I was to take blame, daddy would still hit her more. I rub the bruise on my side, when I think of daddy's angry side. It don't hurt much no more, but I can still picture when it happened. It hadn't been real bad, but it hurt my mind for some reason. I still can't figure out why.
By the time the sun is settin' and Cecile is makin' supper in the kitchen, Mary and no one else around. I can hear footsteps on the second level some, but they ain't very loud nor frequent. It weird cause Miss. Lizabeth don't normally leave me be this lon'. Maybe everyone real stirred up for Mary's return.
I ache to go join Cecile in conversation, but there other slaves with her too. And it no fun with them there. So I go off to daddy's library, pick up the Holy Book and read where I left off. Somewhere between the fifth and sixth page, I fall deep asleep, dreamin' of things that ain't never gonna come true. When I wake, Mary's carriage is waitin' outside the manor.
I sit in a pile of hay and ruble, not really doin' nothin'. I really ain't thinkin' 'bout much, jus' litlle memories of James. He was a pudgy kid, 'till he grew a couple inches in jus' one year. He still relatively large, but in the fat way. Jus' in the large way. Daddy thinks, cause of his size, that he'd be a good military man if there were a war. But I know better, he too gentle to hurt nobody.
It ain't to lon' before I decide to leave. I don't want to run into his mother or nothin', so it ain't worth the risk. In the dirt I write hello, before brushin' it away with my foot. I'll jus' come back later.
When I get back inside, I still don't see nobody. It real quiet, like if one of the pins in my hair were to drop, I'd hear it. I'd even hear a mouse squeak.
I find myself somewhat board, pacin' round the clean parlor, with nothin' to do. For a second I even wish that Lloyd would be back here. At least he some company. I only get through the next hour by thinkin' of Mary's return. Maybe when she come back, she'll be real different and wanna stir up some trouble with me. She never did before, but that cause I'd always blame her if we caught. But this time I'll take the fall.
It a nice thought, but Mary ain't really like me. She don't wanna stir up no trouble jus' cause. She like bein' the perfect southern belle. And beside, even if I was to take blame, daddy would still hit her more. I rub the bruise on my side, when I think of daddy's angry side. It don't hurt much no more, but I can still picture when it happened. It hadn't been real bad, but it hurt my mind for some reason. I still can't figure out why.
By the time the sun is settin' and Cecile is makin' supper in the kitchen, Mary and no one else around. I can hear footsteps on the second level some, but they ain't very loud nor frequent. It weird cause Miss. Lizabeth don't normally leave me be this lon'. Maybe everyone real stirred up for Mary's return.
I ache to go join Cecile in conversation, but there other slaves with her too. And it no fun with them there. So I go off to daddy's library, pick up the Holy Book and read where I left off. Somewhere between the fifth and sixth page, I fall deep asleep, dreamin' of things that ain't never gonna come true. When I wake, Mary's carriage is waitin' outside the manor.
