They keep talkin' 'bout me, sayin' my name and other mumbled words. I don't hear 'nough to make out what exactly they talkin' 'bout, but it don't really matter. I think I know. They get closer to the manor, the younger boy, fallin' back and lookin' 'round the place. I duck, gettin' my dress all dirty, and his eyes run right over me. He don't even see me.
I listen as hard as possible to the two older men, catchin' jus' snippets until I can't hear nothin' no more. I stay frozen in place, 'till all three disappear into the manor, and then I begin to pace.
Who were they? What do they want? I start shakin', I ain't gonna have to marry him, am I? There ain't no way daddy'll force it, but he'll strongly suggest it. And before I even know it I'll be wearin' a big, white dress, and marryin' 'em in the church and havin' babies and bein' even more trapped. Oh, dear.
I don't let myself cry, I ain't one to welcome tears, specially 'cause I've been doin' it so much lately. But I do allow self-pity. It really ain't fair. Plus Mary's gettin' married soon, and we don't have no time for a second wedding.
Well, maybe we ain't gettin' married. Maybe he's just here for somethin' else. Maybe I knew him when I was a child. Even as I think it, I know it ain't right. My daddy would've brought him to me now if that was the case, not carin' how I look. And there's no doubt Miss. Lizabeth is searchin' for me now, so I can get all pretty. I'll have to take a bath, and roll my hair in them hot curlers and wear a corset.
I sigh, I can normally get away with doin' none of them things, but today will be different. As long as he's here, it'll be different. I take a gulp of air, my last free one, cause once I've got that corset on I won't be able to breathe.
I head to the manor, knowin' Miss. Lizabeth expects me to be inside. I go real slow, seein' as goin' forward goes against my instinct to run away, far, far away. But I do finally make it, and sure enough Miss. Lizabeth is frantically searchin' for me. She don't see me right away, and I don't say nothin', jus' watch her run around, yellin' my name quiet enough that them guests don't hear. Finally, I'm spotted.
"Corinne," she yells in a whisper from above the stairs, "Corinne you get up here right now."
I nod, feelin' like I'm marchin' to my death. I walk as slow as ever, ignorin' her protests. I wanna scream at her for makin' me do this, yell at daddy and everyone I've ever known. I wish mother were here, I wish I was a boy, I wish daddy weren't my daddy.
I wish and I pray for all them things, but none of 'em ever come true.
I listen as hard as possible to the two older men, catchin' jus' snippets until I can't hear nothin' no more. I stay frozen in place, 'till all three disappear into the manor, and then I begin to pace.
Who were they? What do they want? I start shakin', I ain't gonna have to marry him, am I? There ain't no way daddy'll force it, but he'll strongly suggest it. And before I even know it I'll be wearin' a big, white dress, and marryin' 'em in the church and havin' babies and bein' even more trapped. Oh, dear.
I don't let myself cry, I ain't one to welcome tears, specially 'cause I've been doin' it so much lately. But I do allow self-pity. It really ain't fair. Plus Mary's gettin' married soon, and we don't have no time for a second wedding.
Well, maybe we ain't gettin' married. Maybe he's just here for somethin' else. Maybe I knew him when I was a child. Even as I think it, I know it ain't right. My daddy would've brought him to me now if that was the case, not carin' how I look. And there's no doubt Miss. Lizabeth is searchin' for me now, so I can get all pretty. I'll have to take a bath, and roll my hair in them hot curlers and wear a corset.
I sigh, I can normally get away with doin' none of them things, but today will be different. As long as he's here, it'll be different. I take a gulp of air, my last free one, cause once I've got that corset on I won't be able to breathe.
I head to the manor, knowin' Miss. Lizabeth expects me to be inside. I go real slow, seein' as goin' forward goes against my instinct to run away, far, far away. But I do finally make it, and sure enough Miss. Lizabeth is frantically searchin' for me. She don't see me right away, and I don't say nothin', jus' watch her run around, yellin' my name quiet enough that them guests don't hear. Finally, I'm spotted.
"Corinne," she yells in a whisper from above the stairs, "Corinne you get up here right now."
I nod, feelin' like I'm marchin' to my death. I walk as slow as ever, ignorin' her protests. I wanna scream at her for makin' me do this, yell at daddy and everyone I've ever known. I wish mother were here, I wish I was a boy, I wish daddy weren't my daddy.
I wish and I pray for all them things, but none of 'em ever come true.
