When mornin' breaks I surprised to find my skin mingled with Samuel's. I see a mixture of black and white, feet against feet, arms wrapped 'round arms. For a moment, lookin' at his eyes- real peaceful and closed- I wanna stay wrapped up in 'em, in this bubble- forever. But then I remember everythin' and I pull away. Far.
The sun is hot on my back, the leafs no protection from its scorn. God ain't happy- no sir. Without waitin' fo' 'em to wake- I brush my skirts of dirt and rubble, an' head back to the manor. If I were to guess- I'd say the Mistress would be up with in a matter of minutes. And she'd want to kno' why I look so disheveled. I have no excuse to give.
I only feet away from my tree when I tempted to look back- see if he there and sleepin'. Or if he awake and watchin' me go in silence. But I don't- I hold my ground and look straight and the wisps of grass blowin' in the wind. It don't matter what he doin'- as lon' as it don't involve me no' more. Touchin' his skin like that- it ain't right. I kno' God will send me to Hell if I do it again. I should call off the lessons. I should tell Miss. Lizabeth to teach me to write and tell Samuel ta not bother- I should but I kno' I won't.
No one up but a few slaves when I reach the manor- an' I thank God beneath my breath, addin' my apology in there too. He seem to not be too mad 'bout this mornin', an' I don't wanna get too selfish and push it. I dunno how forgivin' God is, and in truth I hope he a little harsh. I hope he send daddy to Hell.
It ain't my turn fo' a bath today- I don't have anotha time 'till before Lloyd comes- so I do my best with a brush and a few clips. There still some curls left in the mess atop my head, so I leave them danglin' down- pushin the rest of my hair in coils pinned above my neck. I secure a hat over 'em, hidin' any mushed-in leaves. If no one were to look at me, even the Mistress I'd be okay. They wouldn't notice nothin' but the deep circles beneath my eyes.
I had almos' been ready to appear downstairs, my hair done, my dress and corset fastened in place- when I saw it. I had called up a slave to help me do the laces- and she had done it well. It wasn't so tight that you couldn't breathe, but it was done so you could tell I was wearin' one. The Mistress would stay off my back fo' my face- if she saw I was wearin' the proper attire. 'Specially cause I never wore no corset. But then I saw her necklace- my mother's- a diamond connected to a gold chain- as shiny as the moon at night. And I couldn't leave.
I grabbed it, strokin' its hard surface and collapsed on my bed- tears spillin' from my eyes. I didn't come out 'till I heard Cecile's voice outside my door.
The sun is hot on my back, the leafs no protection from its scorn. God ain't happy- no sir. Without waitin' fo' 'em to wake- I brush my skirts of dirt and rubble, an' head back to the manor. If I were to guess- I'd say the Mistress would be up with in a matter of minutes. And she'd want to kno' why I look so disheveled. I have no excuse to give.
I only feet away from my tree when I tempted to look back- see if he there and sleepin'. Or if he awake and watchin' me go in silence. But I don't- I hold my ground and look straight and the wisps of grass blowin' in the wind. It don't matter what he doin'- as lon' as it don't involve me no' more. Touchin' his skin like that- it ain't right. I kno' God will send me to Hell if I do it again. I should call off the lessons. I should tell Miss. Lizabeth to teach me to write and tell Samuel ta not bother- I should but I kno' I won't.
No one up but a few slaves when I reach the manor- an' I thank God beneath my breath, addin' my apology in there too. He seem to not be too mad 'bout this mornin', an' I don't wanna get too selfish and push it. I dunno how forgivin' God is, and in truth I hope he a little harsh. I hope he send daddy to Hell.
It ain't my turn fo' a bath today- I don't have anotha time 'till before Lloyd comes- so I do my best with a brush and a few clips. There still some curls left in the mess atop my head, so I leave them danglin' down- pushin the rest of my hair in coils pinned above my neck. I secure a hat over 'em, hidin' any mushed-in leaves. If no one were to look at me, even the Mistress I'd be okay. They wouldn't notice nothin' but the deep circles beneath my eyes.
I had almos' been ready to appear downstairs, my hair done, my dress and corset fastened in place- when I saw it. I had called up a slave to help me do the laces- and she had done it well. It wasn't so tight that you couldn't breathe, but it was done so you could tell I was wearin' one. The Mistress would stay off my back fo' my face- if she saw I was wearin' the proper attire. 'Specially cause I never wore no corset. But then I saw her necklace- my mother's- a diamond connected to a gold chain- as shiny as the moon at night. And I couldn't leave.
I grabbed it, strokin' its hard surface and collapsed on my bed- tears spillin' from my eyes. I didn't come out 'till I heard Cecile's voice outside my door.
