Samuel don't say nothin' at first, starin' at me confused fo' a second, then smilin'. He got a real pretty smile for a slave, but I don't tell him nor Cecile that. I jus' wait through the silence, tryin' to hold his eyes and failin'.
"Yes."
My heart jumps all wildly, but I pretend not to notice. I don't want him to realize how excited his answer made me. That would give him power and if daddy taught me anythin' important- it'd be not to give no slave power.
"You ain't lyin'?"
He shakes his head, "No ma'am. I know how to write real nice."
Cecile nods her head, mumblin' over the pot that it true. She's seen 'em teach the little ones the alphabet on paper. I don't point out that it illegal- no slaves are supposed to be all smart like that- even Samuel's master wasn't supposed to teach 'em how to write. I don't say this cause I really don't care too much- there ain't no power in a paper and pen.
"You able to teach me?"
His smile is even larger, cause even if I didn't mean too I jus' gave 'em a small ounce of power. He knows more than a white person. I itch to take it back, and keep my superiority over 'em but I can't do that. I wanna write and speak to my brother, more than I wanna be stronger than a slave. What daddy don't know- won't hurt 'em.
"If you want me to."
I nod, real quick and too fast. He know how important this is to me now, I guess there ain't no turnin' back. A slave has got power over me.
"Can I ask you why?"
I wait before I open my mouth. I can't think of no reason not too- beside Cecile real trustworthy and if he friends with her than he gotta be too. I ain't sure if my theory even works, but like I said before I ain't got nothin' to loose.
"James, my brother. I haven't seen 'em or wrote to 'em in two years. My daddy won't let me, but I think that cause he ain't got no time to write the letters fo' me. So once I show 'em that I able to do it- he gotta let me write James."
"We can start whenever you like."
I want to hug 'em, but bein' that close with a slave ain't too lady-like. And it'd be weird fo' both of us. And if daddy were to walk in and see... So I don't hug 'em, even though every cell of my body wants to, and mumble a polite thank you instead. I'm all the sudden real lonely again, wishin' that there was somebody in the world that I was allowed to hug- somebody who I wanted and who wanted me.
"Yes."
My heart jumps all wildly, but I pretend not to notice. I don't want him to realize how excited his answer made me. That would give him power and if daddy taught me anythin' important- it'd be not to give no slave power.
"You ain't lyin'?"
He shakes his head, "No ma'am. I know how to write real nice."
Cecile nods her head, mumblin' over the pot that it true. She's seen 'em teach the little ones the alphabet on paper. I don't point out that it illegal- no slaves are supposed to be all smart like that- even Samuel's master wasn't supposed to teach 'em how to write. I don't say this cause I really don't care too much- there ain't no power in a paper and pen.
"You able to teach me?"
His smile is even larger, cause even if I didn't mean too I jus' gave 'em a small ounce of power. He knows more than a white person. I itch to take it back, and keep my superiority over 'em but I can't do that. I wanna write and speak to my brother, more than I wanna be stronger than a slave. What daddy don't know- won't hurt 'em.
"If you want me to."
I nod, real quick and too fast. He know how important this is to me now, I guess there ain't no turnin' back. A slave has got power over me.
"Can I ask you why?"
I wait before I open my mouth. I can't think of no reason not too- beside Cecile real trustworthy and if he friends with her than he gotta be too. I ain't sure if my theory even works, but like I said before I ain't got nothin' to loose.
"James, my brother. I haven't seen 'em or wrote to 'em in two years. My daddy won't let me, but I think that cause he ain't got no time to write the letters fo' me. So once I show 'em that I able to do it- he gotta let me write James."
"We can start whenever you like."
I want to hug 'em, but bein' that close with a slave ain't too lady-like. And it'd be weird fo' both of us. And if daddy were to walk in and see... So I don't hug 'em, even though every cell of my body wants to, and mumble a polite thank you instead. I'm all the sudden real lonely again, wishin' that there was somebody in the world that I was allowed to hug- somebody who I wanted and who wanted me.
