Church ain't over for three hours. Daddy leaves early cause he has somethin' to do, but I'm stuck listenin' to the Mistress talk and talk and talk. It really ain't fair, sometime I wish I was a guy. Life would be easier cause I could pretend I had business to do and leave church early, or decide not to marry or move far away from daddy. But I'm stuck in my body, and soon I'll be forced to have babies and get married and move into some manor of some man. He'll be jus' like daddy but worse. Though, I dunno if anyone can be worse than daddy.
Maybe mother prayed to die, and God granted that wish. I could see why she would to do that, but that gets me to thinkin' that I ain't good enough. Mommy wanted to die and I was not special enough to stop her. Mary wasn't neither.
I sigh, glarin' at the Mistress. I think God gets it, she want a baby boy. But she continues goin' on and on and I can hear the slaves waitin' outside for their service. They talkin' and I try to hear Cecile in the crowd but I can't. She ain't speakin' to no one.
The Mistress finally finishes up and I send a quick prayer to the Lord, askin' that he don't grant her no child. I tell 'em that I'll be real nice in Church next week if he doesn't give her a boy. I also ask if my mother wanted to die, but like always he don't respond.
"Mary ain't comin' back 'till tonight," Miss. Lizabeth says, guidin' me through the slaves, I don't see Cecile or Samuel, "so you've got the day off from your studies."
She don't wait for a response and jus' goes off to the manor. She more happy than me, singin' a hymn beneath her breath. I watch her leave, confused for a moment, then allow myself to smile. It ain't everyday that I've got nothin' to do.
I wait around, walkin' in daddy's cotton fields, not sure what to do with my time. It's rather borin', cause I've got no friends 'round here and I can't read nothin' but part of the Holy Book.
It's then I see daddy talkin' with some old man, a younger boy, my age, walkin' behind them. I quickly duck down the grass, makin' sure they don't see me.
"Yes, Corinne will be rather pleased to see you," daddy says, makin' up stuff that he know ain't true. I dunno this man, neither of the men, at all, how am I supposed to be happy? That don't make no sense, "You can meet her at supper, she probably learnin' to read right now."
The young man smiles, askin' somethin' that don't reach my ears. My daddy glower for a minute, then smile, noddin'.
Maybe mother prayed to die, and God granted that wish. I could see why she would to do that, but that gets me to thinkin' that I ain't good enough. Mommy wanted to die and I was not special enough to stop her. Mary wasn't neither.
I sigh, glarin' at the Mistress. I think God gets it, she want a baby boy. But she continues goin' on and on and I can hear the slaves waitin' outside for their service. They talkin' and I try to hear Cecile in the crowd but I can't. She ain't speakin' to no one.
The Mistress finally finishes up and I send a quick prayer to the Lord, askin' that he don't grant her no child. I tell 'em that I'll be real nice in Church next week if he doesn't give her a boy. I also ask if my mother wanted to die, but like always he don't respond.
"Mary ain't comin' back 'till tonight," Miss. Lizabeth says, guidin' me through the slaves, I don't see Cecile or Samuel, "so you've got the day off from your studies."
She don't wait for a response and jus' goes off to the manor. She more happy than me, singin' a hymn beneath her breath. I watch her leave, confused for a moment, then allow myself to smile. It ain't everyday that I've got nothin' to do.
I wait around, walkin' in daddy's cotton fields, not sure what to do with my time. It's rather borin', cause I've got no friends 'round here and I can't read nothin' but part of the Holy Book.
It's then I see daddy talkin' with some old man, a younger boy, my age, walkin' behind them. I quickly duck down the grass, makin' sure they don't see me.
"Yes, Corinne will be rather pleased to see you," daddy says, makin' up stuff that he know ain't true. I dunno this man, neither of the men, at all, how am I supposed to be happy? That don't make no sense, "You can meet her at supper, she probably learnin' to read right now."
The young man smiles, askin' somethin' that don't reach my ears. My daddy glower for a minute, then smile, noddin'.
