He is. Cold, I mean. He don't speak much, jus' to 'is father in small whispers. Although I want to, daddy told me not to say nothin' if not asked to. So I jus' silent, eatin' a lady's portion an' then doin' nothin' but twiddlin' my thumbs. No one talkin' really, daddy to Mista Smith, an' the Mistress sayin' somethin' 'bout a baby every once an' a while. Mary an' I silent, but every time I look ever to 'er to share our pain together, she starin' at the table. She don't never look up.
"Lloyd," I hear my daddy say, probably to get 'em talkin' to me. He showed interest before, las' time 'e was here. But nothin' now. What changed? "Lloyd, I 'ave heard that you thinkin' of goin' to Military School."
I almos' choke on my own air. Military School? The one James attends? I was so sure that Lloyd would be my husban'- I even accepted it an' now he go off to military school? Like James, I ain't never gonna see 'em again. An' then Mista Smith could use what ever agreement he had with daddy...
"What?" I blurt out, ignorin' Miss. Lizabeth's and daddy's harsh stares. "Military school, but you can't."
"Corinne," daddy scolds, his harsh voice weird to my ears that ain't used to hearin' it. "Military school is an honorable place to go."
"You said that when James went." I kno' I should shut my mouth but I jus' can't. I can't. That ain't fair at all. "An' I haven't been able to see 'em or write to 'em since."
Daddy pales, his eyes lookin' down to the left. "We ain't not gonna discuss James right now, Corinne. I told you, later."
"He's had time to settle in now," I say, "You jus' keep sayin' that cause you don't want James to take me away from you."
I almos' tell everyone then an' there 'bout daddy's visits but I bite my tongue. No one would do nothin' 'bout it anyways. It my reward.
"Corinne, settle down, right now. This ain't acceptable behavior."
I look 'round the table, Mary still lookin' down an' Miss. Lizabeth avoidin' my gaze. They think daddy right.
"It ain't acceptable that I haven't been able to write my brother."
An' then I storm away, too angry to do nothin' else. No body call after me, no body come after me neither. But I like it that way, it ain't 'till I by myself that I can cry, sinkin' down into the grass, stainin' my skin an' cry.
Life ain't fair, life ain't fair one bit.
"Lloyd," I hear my daddy say, probably to get 'em talkin' to me. He showed interest before, las' time 'e was here. But nothin' now. What changed? "Lloyd, I 'ave heard that you thinkin' of goin' to Military School."
I almos' choke on my own air. Military School? The one James attends? I was so sure that Lloyd would be my husban'- I even accepted it an' now he go off to military school? Like James, I ain't never gonna see 'em again. An' then Mista Smith could use what ever agreement he had with daddy...
"What?" I blurt out, ignorin' Miss. Lizabeth's and daddy's harsh stares. "Military school, but you can't."
"Corinne," daddy scolds, his harsh voice weird to my ears that ain't used to hearin' it. "Military school is an honorable place to go."
"You said that when James went." I kno' I should shut my mouth but I jus' can't. I can't. That ain't fair at all. "An' I haven't been able to see 'em or write to 'em since."
Daddy pales, his eyes lookin' down to the left. "We ain't not gonna discuss James right now, Corinne. I told you, later."
"He's had time to settle in now," I say, "You jus' keep sayin' that cause you don't want James to take me away from you."
I almos' tell everyone then an' there 'bout daddy's visits but I bite my tongue. No one would do nothin' 'bout it anyways. It my reward.
"Corinne, settle down, right now. This ain't acceptable behavior."
I look 'round the table, Mary still lookin' down an' Miss. Lizabeth avoidin' my gaze. They think daddy right.
"It ain't acceptable that I haven't been able to write my brother."
An' then I storm away, too angry to do nothin' else. No body call after me, no body come after me neither. But I like it that way, it ain't 'till I by myself that I can cry, sinkin' down into the grass, stainin' my skin an' cry.
Life ain't fair, life ain't fair one bit.
