I'm a good gurl. Most the time I do as daddy say too- even pretendin' that I enjoy it. Sure on the inside I screamin' and kickin'- but no one really kno' that- all they see outside is a proper lady with perfect posture smilin'. They don' see nor hear nothin'- but I still treated like I kill or sompin'. When I do jus' the littlest thin'- like agreein' to The Misses Ball- daddy throw a fit. I the worse out there- he gotta yell.
It was weird havin' the Misses come in an' save me. She grabbed daddy's hands 'fore he could reach my skin, an' told 'em ta calm down. I still his subservient little daughter- it jus' one ball. One dance- an' then I'll go righ' back to tryin' things out with Lloyd.
It only a ball. I ain't runnin' away like I wish too, or doin' sompin' so an' completely wron'. It jus' goin' to a ball. I sometime wonder wha' daddy would do if he had a daughter like one of 'em northern gurls. Wha' would he say? How much would 'e yell at 'er, or would it be the same? It don' matter wha' he yellin' fo', sometime he jus' seem to want ta yell at me- or Mary I guess too. Mary mo'.
It not fair- cause we ain't bad. We ain' as bad as we could be, but maybe we ought to be. Show him wha' bad really is.
The Misses pretty brave- mo' than I give 'er credit fo'. Stoppin' daddy like that- I'd never be able to. She ran in when he was so angry, an' became an' actual decent person. She ain't directly nice to me or nothin'- but she didn' let daddy hurt me.
"You excited fo' this ball?" ask Cecile, passin' me a bowl. I pick 'round in it- not real hungry. Mo' upset.
"Guess so," I murmur. I don't really feel like talkin' bout it- but I ain't gonna be rude to Cecile. She don' deserve to be yelled at- like daddy yelled at me earlier. No one deserve that, not really. Bein' yelled at can almos' be worse than gettin' hit- almos'.
"You don' sound so."
"I am," I lie. I ain't if it gonna brin;' mo' fights with daddy. I didn' think he'd even care- it ain't too big a deal. Guess I was real wron' 'bout that. "I love dressin' in pretty dresses."
"Uh-huh."
"It true Cecile," I say, sighin'. "But I dunno- I jus' wish..." I wish fo' daddy to drop dead- but I kno' that ain' sompin' I should wish. No. So I don' say it outloud, and I pretend that I hadn't wished it at all.
It was weird havin' the Misses come in an' save me. She grabbed daddy's hands 'fore he could reach my skin, an' told 'em ta calm down. I still his subservient little daughter- it jus' one ball. One dance- an' then I'll go righ' back to tryin' things out with Lloyd.
It only a ball. I ain't runnin' away like I wish too, or doin' sompin' so an' completely wron'. It jus' goin' to a ball. I sometime wonder wha' daddy would do if he had a daughter like one of 'em northern gurls. Wha' would he say? How much would 'e yell at 'er, or would it be the same? It don' matter wha' he yellin' fo', sometime he jus' seem to want ta yell at me- or Mary I guess too. Mary mo'.
It not fair- cause we ain't bad. We ain' as bad as we could be, but maybe we ought to be. Show him wha' bad really is.
The Misses pretty brave- mo' than I give 'er credit fo'. Stoppin' daddy like that- I'd never be able to. She ran in when he was so angry, an' became an' actual decent person. She ain't directly nice to me or nothin'- but she didn' let daddy hurt me.
"You excited fo' this ball?" ask Cecile, passin' me a bowl. I pick 'round in it- not real hungry. Mo' upset.
"Guess so," I murmur. I don't really feel like talkin' bout it- but I ain't gonna be rude to Cecile. She don' deserve to be yelled at- like daddy yelled at me earlier. No one deserve that, not really. Bein' yelled at can almos' be worse than gettin' hit- almos'.
"You don' sound so."
"I am," I lie. I ain't if it gonna brin;' mo' fights with daddy. I didn' think he'd even care- it ain't too big a deal. Guess I was real wron' 'bout that. "I love dressin' in pretty dresses."
"Uh-huh."
"It true Cecile," I say, sighin'. "But I dunno- I jus' wish..." I wish fo' daddy to drop dead- but I kno' that ain' sompin' I should wish. No. So I don' say it outloud, and I pretend that I hadn't wished it at all.
