The cold, hard steel glinted in the waning light. I gripped it tighter and prepared to do the deed. I sat there for a minute trying to get the courage to do it. A little bit of pressure and a small movement would be enough to start. I trembled and dropped the blade. I couldn't do it. Tears rolled down my face. I couldn't take this anymore. I couldn't go on tight lipped about what had happened. I needed to tell them what happened that night. I walked briskly to Sheelin's house keeping my head down and my hands shoved in my pockets. The cold winter was finally seeping into my bones and all I had on was a light rain jacket. Every siren I heard made my pulse leap. Where the cops looking for me? Was Dad among them, searching every face he saw for mine? Finally, twenty minutes later, standing on the stoop of Sheelin's house, I hesitantly knocked. I kept my head down as the door opened.
"Hey, Mila," Sheelin smiled, "How are you do-" I lifted my face and let my pale, tear streaked cheeks and puffy eyes tell my tale.
After a pause, I said, "We need to talk,"
"Is it something I did?" she asked nervously.
"No... but I need to tell you and Lamai what happened the night we all went to the hospital,"
"Right now? Because Lamai is here going over some designs with me,"
"No," I said quickly, "No, Let's meet on New Year's Eve. At midnight. In the park."
She nodded and asked, "Do you want to come in?"
"No, no, I have to go," I smiled halfheartedly and quickly backed up. When I was on the sidewalk I gave a quick wave and hurried away. I had to go home. I wouldn't be able to survive the harsh winter without any gear and I honestly didn't feel up to the challenge of camping in the woods. My plan was simple; climb onto the roof and sneak into my room. Hopefully everybody would be gone so I would have some extra time for myself to straighten everything out in my mind and write apologies for the family.

END CHAPTER