"Mila," I said, unwrapping myself from Dan and stumbling towards her, "I'm glad that you found me, I'm so glad that you didn't abandon me, and you never kil-"
"No," she whispered hoarsely and gently stepped out of my embrace, "you're wrong. I did it; I found him. I found him the same night that you were taken away. Something happened to Sheelin and she passed out so I was the only one who went in for questioning. They found the man and brought him in. They left me unattended and there was a pair of scissors on the table. Lamai, they were just lying there and he was just walking in. I grabbed them and... I stabbed him," My blood froze and suddenly my world shrank. My knees wobbled and I numbly felt Dan pull me back to the log we had been sitting on.
"That wasn't the end, though. I used some of the defensive move my dad had taught me to evade the officers' grasp and I managed to sink the scissors into him three more times before rage finally consumed me and I gave in. Lamai, I've killed a man. I'm a killer," her lip trembled and she collapsed on the log. I looked at Josh, but he looked as shocked as I did. I realized she hadn't told anybody this; she'd kept all her emotions bottled up inside her for god knows how long.
"Mila," Sheelin said, "I had no clue, I'm sor-"
"Don't," she snapped, "say you're sorry," then in a softer voice said, "It's a sign of weakness,"
"Is that all you care about?" I asked, growing angry, "Being strong? Yes, I get it, that's part of being in L4L, you are strong mentally, physically, and emotionally. Look at yourself, you're crying over the past, you're crying because you killed a man,"
"Lamai," Dan cut in, "stop, this is hard for everybody,"
"You know what, no. Mila, you killed a man. A man, bear in mind, who raped me and left me for dead in the middle of the fucking woods," I shouted. As soon as the words caught up with my brain I stopped in horror and slowly backed away from their stares.
"You're standing up for yourself," Mila smiled through tears, "I'm proud of you," Dan had caught me and was keeping me from running.
"Wait," Sheelin said slowly as she uncurled herself from Ben's arms, "did I hear you correctly?" I stared at her like a deer in headlights and nodded. "Do you want to go next?"
"I- sure," I said, looking at the ground, "Well, um," I couldn't do it, I was panicking and had to run away. Dan blocked my view of everybody and looked into my eyes.
"You're just talking to me," he whispered so only I could hear it, "Look at me and tell me what happened," Despite my mind telling me to run, I listened to him and met his eyes.
"He grabbed my arm and lead me through the trees. I saw you guys, I tried to call out to you guys, but his hand clamped down over my mouth. He had a knife and... and, I became obedient. I did what he said and tried to cry as little as possible. I did what I had to do to survive, I never wanted it to happen," I panicked and grabbed Dan.
"No," she whispered hoarsely and gently stepped out of my embrace, "you're wrong. I did it; I found him. I found him the same night that you were taken away. Something happened to Sheelin and she passed out so I was the only one who went in for questioning. They found the man and brought him in. They left me unattended and there was a pair of scissors on the table. Lamai, they were just lying there and he was just walking in. I grabbed them and... I stabbed him," My blood froze and suddenly my world shrank. My knees wobbled and I numbly felt Dan pull me back to the log we had been sitting on.
"That wasn't the end, though. I used some of the defensive move my dad had taught me to evade the officers' grasp and I managed to sink the scissors into him three more times before rage finally consumed me and I gave in. Lamai, I've killed a man. I'm a killer," her lip trembled and she collapsed on the log. I looked at Josh, but he looked as shocked as I did. I realized she hadn't told anybody this; she'd kept all her emotions bottled up inside her for god knows how long.
"Mila," Sheelin said, "I had no clue, I'm sor-"
"Don't," she snapped, "say you're sorry," then in a softer voice said, "It's a sign of weakness,"
"Is that all you care about?" I asked, growing angry, "Being strong? Yes, I get it, that's part of being in L4L, you are strong mentally, physically, and emotionally. Look at yourself, you're crying over the past, you're crying because you killed a man,"
"Lamai," Dan cut in, "stop, this is hard for everybody,"
"You know what, no. Mila, you killed a man. A man, bear in mind, who raped me and left me for dead in the middle of the fucking woods," I shouted. As soon as the words caught up with my brain I stopped in horror and slowly backed away from their stares.
"You're standing up for yourself," Mila smiled through tears, "I'm proud of you," Dan had caught me and was keeping me from running.
"Wait," Sheelin said slowly as she uncurled herself from Ben's arms, "did I hear you correctly?" I stared at her like a deer in headlights and nodded. "Do you want to go next?"
"I- sure," I said, looking at the ground, "Well, um," I couldn't do it, I was panicking and had to run away. Dan blocked my view of everybody and looked into my eyes.
"You're just talking to me," he whispered so only I could hear it, "Look at me and tell me what happened," Despite my mind telling me to run, I listened to him and met his eyes.
"He grabbed my arm and lead me through the trees. I saw you guys, I tried to call out to you guys, but his hand clamped down over my mouth. He had a knife and... and, I became obedient. I did what he said and tried to cry as little as possible. I did what I had to do to survive, I never wanted it to happen," I panicked and grabbed Dan.
