The hallway was dark as I walked it. The door at the end let light filter through beneath it. That was where I needed to be, in the room through that door. He was there waiting for me. My legs wouldn’t move fast enough and the hall stretched for miles before me. When I finally reached the door, the doorknob was cold as I turned it in my trembling hands.
The room was lined with hundreds of candles that flooded every inch with light. In the center was a bed and on it lay two knives. He stood in front of the mirror that leaned against one wall. I spoke his name softly and he looked up.
“Hey.” His voice was soft when he spoke. “You came.”
“I told you I would.” I walked over and wound my arms around his waist, burying my face against his neck. “I love you.”
He held me tight against him and said “I love you, too.”
We stayed like that for a moment before he asked, “Are you ready?”
I looked up at him with my eyes watering and nodded.
“You don’t have to do this, baby.” The backs of his fingers drifted across my cheek. “I won’t make you.”
“I know.”
“You sure you’re okay?”
“I’m sure.” I started to take my jacket off but he stopped me.
“Let me?”
“Okay.”
He slipped my jacket off my shoulders and let it fall to the ground. I shivered.
“You’ll be warm in a minute, baby. I promise.” he said as he slipped my shirt over my head and dropped it. “It’s your turn.”
He hadn’t worn a jacket. My hands shook as I pulled his shirt up and off.
“Relax, baby.”
“I’m trying.”
He wrapped his arms around me and held me against him. His hands drifted up comforting me as he said “It’s okay, baby, it’s okay. We can stop. You don’t have to do it now. You don’t have to do it ever.”
“I will, just give me a minute.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah.”
He kissed me softly then went quiet while he waited for me to calm down. In a moment I was fine. I looked at him. His expression was worried, waiting and ready for anything. My hands moved to his belt. He understood that there was no more second guessing, that I wasn’t going to run.