Chapter 4
Oh Lucy your back! Oh Lucy how are you? Oh Lucy, oh Lucy, oh Lucy, oh Lucy......
"Oh Lucy! Lucy dear, time to wake up!"
High School. It will become the final death of me. You just wait I am going to get all this attention because I have been out for the first two weeks of new classes. Yay, just what I wanted, more attention drawn to myself. I live to draw attention away from myself. I guess this didn’t help my goal at all.
I open my eyes to find Martha staring down at me. Maids... they can be so annoying. Can’t you see that I don’t want to go to school Martha; can’t you see that I don’t want to live Martha?
"Get up, I’m not saying it again." sometimes I wish Martha was my mother instead of the one that I have. She is everything my mother is not: kind, loving, caring, harsh when need be, she respects me and I think she actually cares about my well being (well that makes one of us). I only get up after she leaves my room. When I sit up I look at myself in the mirror, for the whole wall opposite of my bed is covered by a mirror.
I hate that mirror. I have tried to break it multiple times, it never wants to break. I wake up every morning looking at the ugly face I have to call my own. Just looking into my own dead eyes reminds me day after day what I truly desire most. It reminds me that I have to drag my useless body out of bed and put on the act that everyone wants and expects out of me. No one wants what I want; no one knows or cares about what I want.
Martha pokes her head through my door "Up Miss Lucy! You are going to be late and then Charlie will be upset with you! Even though he is out of the house doesn’t mean he isn’t going to check up on you. Come on now don’t make me come back," I get up, not because of her but because I am tired of looking at my face in that horrible mirror that continues to haunt my every step.
In the shower I just let the water run down my back. My whole body is still hurting from the accident. I don’t care if I’m not properly washed; being in here is hurting me. And it’s not like I have someone waiting for me. But I should wash my hair since I am going over to Dominic’s house tonight. Oh wait I can’t go to Dominic’s I have that stupid group support meeting tonight. I should call him.
I don’t wear makeup is that weird? I see all the pretty popular girls in school wearing makeup but I feel as if it makes my face look fat. But maybe I should start wearing it. I know Dominic would like it.
Oh Lucy your back! Oh Lucy how are you? Oh Lucy, oh Lucy, oh Lucy, oh Lucy......
"Oh Lucy! Lucy dear, time to wake up!"
High School. It will become the final death of me. You just wait I am going to get all this attention because I have been out for the first two weeks of new classes. Yay, just what I wanted, more attention drawn to myself. I live to draw attention away from myself. I guess this didn’t help my goal at all.
I open my eyes to find Martha staring down at me. Maids... they can be so annoying. Can’t you see that I don’t want to go to school Martha; can’t you see that I don’t want to live Martha?
"Get up, I’m not saying it again." sometimes I wish Martha was my mother instead of the one that I have. She is everything my mother is not: kind, loving, caring, harsh when need be, she respects me and I think she actually cares about my well being (well that makes one of us). I only get up after she leaves my room. When I sit up I look at myself in the mirror, for the whole wall opposite of my bed is covered by a mirror.
I hate that mirror. I have tried to break it multiple times, it never wants to break. I wake up every morning looking at the ugly face I have to call my own. Just looking into my own dead eyes reminds me day after day what I truly desire most. It reminds me that I have to drag my useless body out of bed and put on the act that everyone wants and expects out of me. No one wants what I want; no one knows or cares about what I want.
Martha pokes her head through my door "Up Miss Lucy! You are going to be late and then Charlie will be upset with you! Even though he is out of the house doesn’t mean he isn’t going to check up on you. Come on now don’t make me come back," I get up, not because of her but because I am tired of looking at my face in that horrible mirror that continues to haunt my every step.
In the shower I just let the water run down my back. My whole body is still hurting from the accident. I don’t care if I’m not properly washed; being in here is hurting me. And it’s not like I have someone waiting for me. But I should wash my hair since I am going over to Dominic’s house tonight. Oh wait I can’t go to Dominic’s I have that stupid group support meeting tonight. I should call him.
I don’t wear makeup is that weird? I see all the pretty popular girls in school wearing makeup but I feel as if it makes my face look fat. But maybe I should start wearing it. I know Dominic would like it.
