I try to sit up to motion for everyone to leave my room but then I felt the pain. There is pain all over my body. Everything feels like it is being stabbed with a knife, the pain from my car accident, the pain from my detox and the pain from an expected beating. I feel like I’m going to pass out because the pain is so unbearable. It is everywhere. My brother notices the look of pain in my face and calls the doctor over. I see the doctor push a few buttons on the machine next to me and squirt some type of fluid into my IV. I feel my eyes getting heavy. I know I am falling asleep. I look over to Charlie and I see a look of love and worry on his face. I fight to keep my eyes open but Charlie pulls them closed. The last thing I hear before I slip away is the doctor saying "it's good for her to get sleep. It allows the body to recuperate. And it will help her get through the worst part of the detox. Everyone needs to leave now and let her rest." Thank you doctor, you are my new best friend.
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I cannot see. I don’t know whether it is because my eyes are closed or because there are no lights. All I know is that everything is black. I try to move so I can find something to indicate where I am but my shoes are tied to the ground. I bend down to untie them but then I start to hear blood curdling screams far off. I start to grab at the rope tying my shoes to the ground but I can’t get them off. The screaming is coming closer. I hear them screaming my name now. I am crying. I cannot get my shoes untied from the ground. Faces are surrounding me, screaming my name in my face. I see all the people who have committed suicide. I have to get away from here. Instead of untying the rope I just pull off my shoes so that I can at least run bare foot.
It’s so dark and I can’t see anything. I run hard and fast to get away. The screaming people are getting further and further away. Soon I can’t hear them at all but I don’t stop. I trip over something and I fall. I am expecting to hit the ground but I don’t. I just keep falling; I’m falling and I’m going to die when I hit the bottom. I don’t want to die. I’m screaming. I’m crying. I’m afraid.
I stop. In mid air I stop. Everything is light. Where am I? Nothing is here. I can see nothing. Everything is now white. I am surrounded by it. Everything is getting lighter and lighter. So light now that I have to squint. I feel warm too. I didn’t realize how cold I was till now. I am falling asleep. I can’t help it. It is just so irresistible. Just before I fall asleep I hear a voice. "I am the light in the darkest of places. Do not fear, I will keep you from falling and I then will hold you forever".
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I cannot see. I don’t know whether it is because my eyes are closed or because there are no lights. All I know is that everything is black. I try to move so I can find something to indicate where I am but my shoes are tied to the ground. I bend down to untie them but then I start to hear blood curdling screams far off. I start to grab at the rope tying my shoes to the ground but I can’t get them off. The screaming is coming closer. I hear them screaming my name now. I am crying. I cannot get my shoes untied from the ground. Faces are surrounding me, screaming my name in my face. I see all the people who have committed suicide. I have to get away from here. Instead of untying the rope I just pull off my shoes so that I can at least run bare foot.
It’s so dark and I can’t see anything. I run hard and fast to get away. The screaming people are getting further and further away. Soon I can’t hear them at all but I don’t stop. I trip over something and I fall. I am expecting to hit the ground but I don’t. I just keep falling; I’m falling and I’m going to die when I hit the bottom. I don’t want to die. I’m screaming. I’m crying. I’m afraid.
I stop. In mid air I stop. Everything is light. Where am I? Nothing is here. I can see nothing. Everything is now white. I am surrounded by it. Everything is getting lighter and lighter. So light now that I have to squint. I feel warm too. I didn’t realize how cold I was till now. I am falling asleep. I can’t help it. It is just so irresistible. Just before I fall asleep I hear a voice. "I am the light in the darkest of places. Do not fear, I will keep you from falling and I then will hold you forever".
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