Eyes closed, Mary took a deep breath in, then held it. In her mind she imagined the ocean crashing into the beach. As the waves retreated back into the sea she exhaled.
Since she was very small she had always found the ocean soothing. She would just sit on the beach for hours, doing nothing but watching it. It had been enough to make her parents worry that there was something wrong with her.
Mary sighed. As an adult, she very rarely had the opportunity to go to the actual ocean. But whenever she was facing a particularly difficult life challenge, she would always imagine it in her mind, just as she was doing now.
"Why am I upset?" She thought to herself, another wave lapping at the shore in her mind, "Now, when everything seems to be alright, why am I still fixated on this?"
When Alex first left after their fight, she'd been angry at him. She'd been so wound up for so long, always worrying, and she had finally just snapped. The hurt inside of her needed a target and he was convenient.
After he had been gone for more than a day, she stopped being angry and started being worried. The deep instinctual fear in her whispered that he'd been in a terrible accident. Distracted by anger and frustration, he might not have noticed the headlights of an oncoming car, or some other danger. She watched the news with a fervor for any sign of such a tragedy, but there was nothing.
When he'd been gone an entire week, she realized her fear was not so much for his safety as for herself. Deep down, she hadn't started the fight with him because of their money troubles. Mary was scared that Alex abandoning the responsibility of his job meant he was abandoning other kinds of responsibility as well.
When they were first engaged, she was so happy. She loved him more than anything in the world. Then the engagement had stretched for seven long years, and still no wedding. Alex always promised it would happen when they were settled, but they never seemed to settle.
And Mary was not getting any younger. Seeing children every day at work got harder and harder. She wanted children of her own.
Alex didn't seem to understand or care about any of the things she wanted. He was so fixated on achieving his dreams, he couldn't see that he was killing hers.
So, secretly Mary feared that his disappearance was just his final act of irresponsibility. If she reported it to the police, would they just nod and smile to each other and say, "Another case of a boyfriend that just got fed up and left?"
Since she was very small she had always found the ocean soothing. She would just sit on the beach for hours, doing nothing but watching it. It had been enough to make her parents worry that there was something wrong with her.
Mary sighed. As an adult, she very rarely had the opportunity to go to the actual ocean. But whenever she was facing a particularly difficult life challenge, she would always imagine it in her mind, just as she was doing now.
"Why am I upset?" She thought to herself, another wave lapping at the shore in her mind, "Now, when everything seems to be alright, why am I still fixated on this?"
When Alex first left after their fight, she'd been angry at him. She'd been so wound up for so long, always worrying, and she had finally just snapped. The hurt inside of her needed a target and he was convenient.
After he had been gone for more than a day, she stopped being angry and started being worried. The deep instinctual fear in her whispered that he'd been in a terrible accident. Distracted by anger and frustration, he might not have noticed the headlights of an oncoming car, or some other danger. She watched the news with a fervor for any sign of such a tragedy, but there was nothing.
When he'd been gone an entire week, she realized her fear was not so much for his safety as for herself. Deep down, she hadn't started the fight with him because of their money troubles. Mary was scared that Alex abandoning the responsibility of his job meant he was abandoning other kinds of responsibility as well.
When they were first engaged, she was so happy. She loved him more than anything in the world. Then the engagement had stretched for seven long years, and still no wedding. Alex always promised it would happen when they were settled, but they never seemed to settle.
And Mary was not getting any younger. Seeing children every day at work got harder and harder. She wanted children of her own.
Alex didn't seem to understand or care about any of the things she wanted. He was so fixated on achieving his dreams, he couldn't see that he was killing hers.
So, secretly Mary feared that his disappearance was just his final act of irresponsibility. If she reported it to the police, would they just nod and smile to each other and say, "Another case of a boyfriend that just got fed up and left?"
