spent some time with maia yesterday, finally. the difference between childhood friends and contemporary friends is really obvious, sometimes. we're friends because we've always been friends, not because we've had anything in common since we were 12. after 10+ years though it takes something really cataclysmic to rock the boat, and nothing cataclysmic ever happens to maia, period.
sure, she has her moments, but even those seem somehow timed or organized and she goes out of her way to describe them in detail, like she's trying to convince someone that she has problems, too. it's bizarre, and listening to it always makes me feel vaguely uncomfortable...
...anyway.
with jason these days it's been sort of 'out of sight, out of mind' which I think is a good thing. it's important to maintain perspective, I'm not in a place to get sucked down any rabbit holes right now. yesterday luci gave me the newest mastered copy of the song we've been working on though and when his verse came on my stomach did backflips.
lately past me laughs at present me a lot.
I'm so goddamn fickle, it's like I can't ever settle on anything. one second I'm sure I'll combust and die if I don't have something, the next I could care less. it makes it pretty difficult to achieve your goals when you can't even hold on to the desire to achieve them for long enough to try. part of me just wants to hermit out and not see anyone until I leave for mutantfest... just take the week out there to decompress and start over when I get back.
I guess that's gonna be pretty hard to do considering luci is on her way to pick me up right now.
oh well.
sure, she has her moments, but even those seem somehow timed or organized and she goes out of her way to describe them in detail, like she's trying to convince someone that she has problems, too. it's bizarre, and listening to it always makes me feel vaguely uncomfortable...
...anyway.
with jason these days it's been sort of 'out of sight, out of mind' which I think is a good thing. it's important to maintain perspective, I'm not in a place to get sucked down any rabbit holes right now. yesterday luci gave me the newest mastered copy of the song we've been working on though and when his verse came on my stomach did backflips.
lately past me laughs at present me a lot.
I'm so goddamn fickle, it's like I can't ever settle on anything. one second I'm sure I'll combust and die if I don't have something, the next I could care less. it makes it pretty difficult to achieve your goals when you can't even hold on to the desire to achieve them for long enough to try. part of me just wants to hermit out and not see anyone until I leave for mutantfest... just take the week out there to decompress and start over when I get back.
I guess that's gonna be pretty hard to do considering luci is on her way to pick me up right now.
oh well.
