luci picked me up and we drove to shopnkart where we bought 192 ounces of pbr and ran to the car with our hoods up as if we could somehow prevent ourselves from getting soaked by the summer rain falling in buckets from the sky. I felt light as air for the first time in days until her phone rang. who else could it have been?
we picked him up and I noticed right away that he looked different, sad, like something was wrong. we drove to scenic hills and drank beer in the car with the doors open watching the sky change colors. luci did most of the talking, which is nothing new, but as she chattered I realized that she hadn't even noticed a change. I found myself twisting around in my seat to look at him more often than was strictly necessary and he would give me these sad little smiles that never reached his eyes.
we drove to the lake then and luci wandered off, leaving us alone in the car on a hill overlooking the water. neither of us said a word, but the silence was strangely comfortable, the kind where you don't feel the need to fill the spaces with mindless chatter. I leaned back against my seat and closed my eyes, sucking down my cigarette like it was air, dizzy from the beer and the proximity.
I feel pretty bad today, he said in a tiny voice that was much closer to me than I realized. I tried not to panic. drink too much last night? I asked casually. I felt him shake his head. what's wrong then? I asked, still going for casual but I could feel the concern creeping in around the edges of my voice. I gulped my beer and took another long drag of my cigarette. I don't know. his voice was barely above a whisper but the plaintive tone of it was overwhelming. I couldn't think of a single thing to say. just a mutant freak, I guess, he said after it had become clear I wasn't going to respond. I tilted my head back until I could see his face. I don't think you're a mutant freak. he smiled again, that sad little smile, and took a breath like he was getting ready to say something. I was practically hypnotized, waiting...
...and then the car door crashed open and luci was jumping in, already talking at a volume that seemed almost indecent compared to the barely whispered conversation of moments before. it was all I could do not to scream in frustration.
it's strange the things I choose to focus on, though. this could have been a very different page.
we picked him up and I noticed right away that he looked different, sad, like something was wrong. we drove to scenic hills and drank beer in the car with the doors open watching the sky change colors. luci did most of the talking, which is nothing new, but as she chattered I realized that she hadn't even noticed a change. I found myself twisting around in my seat to look at him more often than was strictly necessary and he would give me these sad little smiles that never reached his eyes.
we drove to the lake then and luci wandered off, leaving us alone in the car on a hill overlooking the water. neither of us said a word, but the silence was strangely comfortable, the kind where you don't feel the need to fill the spaces with mindless chatter. I leaned back against my seat and closed my eyes, sucking down my cigarette like it was air, dizzy from the beer and the proximity.
I feel pretty bad today, he said in a tiny voice that was much closer to me than I realized. I tried not to panic. drink too much last night? I asked casually. I felt him shake his head. what's wrong then? I asked, still going for casual but I could feel the concern creeping in around the edges of my voice. I gulped my beer and took another long drag of my cigarette. I don't know. his voice was barely above a whisper but the plaintive tone of it was overwhelming. I couldn't think of a single thing to say. just a mutant freak, I guess, he said after it had become clear I wasn't going to respond. I tilted my head back until I could see his face. I don't think you're a mutant freak. he smiled again, that sad little smile, and took a breath like he was getting ready to say something. I was practically hypnotized, waiting...
...and then the car door crashed open and luci was jumping in, already talking at a volume that seemed almost indecent compared to the barely whispered conversation of moments before. it was all I could do not to scream in frustration.
it's strange the things I choose to focus on, though. this could have been a very different page.
