May 29th 2016:
More than a year has passed, and now I find myself in another place, in another time, so many things changed, and yet so many remained.
I am slowly finding pieces of myself, like one finds pieces of sea glass on an empty beach at low-tide. They're shining, glinting in the sun, but when I go to pick it up, it's something else entirely. Smooth to the touch, the edges worn down by the furious motions of the tides, and always a different shade of the same endless blue.
Who I wanted to be, and where I wanted to end up, have changed courses. I no longer want to be a veterinarian, instead I'm leaning towards being an audiologist. I didn't end up going to UF, like I was so sure I would, instead I finished out my first year at FSU.
I have had many failures, many friendships built and yet crumbled, and many shocking twists and turns in this time of my life. For every hill I crest over, there is another; sharper, and steeper, and all the more precarious.
I look up at the stars, and sometimes think if I stare long enough, maybe the stars will fall down and become fireflies. My heart pangs for those summers of my childhood, where the fireflies would dart about, and tanned hands with childish shouts of glee would grab for them. I can almost smell the flowers in the huge garden of my grandpa's house, and see the darkening sky, safe in the knowledge that my parents are young, happy, and behind me; my brother by my side with his wide blue eyes.
My brother is currently off at basic training in the army, his graduation sometime in August, but really I won't see him until December. He didn't seem to miss me all that much, but in all honesty we have grown up and learned to live without the other in our lives. I hope he's learning how to be who he wants to be.
I currently am living in this semi-state of isolation, all my friend back home, and instead I am up here in Tally, working and taking (failing) a math class.
More than a year has passed, and now I find myself in another place, in another time, so many things changed, and yet so many remained.
I am slowly finding pieces of myself, like one finds pieces of sea glass on an empty beach at low-tide. They're shining, glinting in the sun, but when I go to pick it up, it's something else entirely. Smooth to the touch, the edges worn down by the furious motions of the tides, and always a different shade of the same endless blue.
Who I wanted to be, and where I wanted to end up, have changed courses. I no longer want to be a veterinarian, instead I'm leaning towards being an audiologist. I didn't end up going to UF, like I was so sure I would, instead I finished out my first year at FSU.
I have had many failures, many friendships built and yet crumbled, and many shocking twists and turns in this time of my life. For every hill I crest over, there is another; sharper, and steeper, and all the more precarious.
I look up at the stars, and sometimes think if I stare long enough, maybe the stars will fall down and become fireflies. My heart pangs for those summers of my childhood, where the fireflies would dart about, and tanned hands with childish shouts of glee would grab for them. I can almost smell the flowers in the huge garden of my grandpa's house, and see the darkening sky, safe in the knowledge that my parents are young, happy, and behind me; my brother by my side with his wide blue eyes.
My brother is currently off at basic training in the army, his graduation sometime in August, but really I won't see him until December. He didn't seem to miss me all that much, but in all honesty we have grown up and learned to live without the other in our lives. I hope he's learning how to be who he wants to be.
I currently am living in this semi-state of isolation, all my friend back home, and instead I am up here in Tally, working and taking (failing) a math class.
