You only have one life to live. Society hears that saying where every they go. From the time they were born till the time that they die. They hear it from infomercials, wise old men, and from were ever else you would hear it. But what about me? Am i part of the rule? Every time i try to kill myself i keep on living. It seems the harder i try to die the harder my body works at trying to say alive. Does that mean that i have had more that one life to live? When will it stop, after my forth or fifth time? I remember my dream and how i could see and hear everyone who has succeeded in committing suicide. They waisted there one chance at life and they didn't get another chance. So why me? Why do i get a second and third chance? It's not like I'm ever going to change. If anything it will get worse. And what about the end of my dream? When I was caught from falling? What is that all about? Now that i think about it when i was there stuck and everything was getting lighter and warmer... i felt good. Better than i have ever felt in my whole life. But the ultimate question is...... is it worth the pain to live my life again?
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I am jolted awake when my mom pulls to a sudden stop down the street from my house. I didnt even notice that i fell asleep. It must have been weird for my mom to have me drooling in her perfectly clean car.
"You know maybe the doctor is right Lucy. It might do us all some good for you to go to therapy" my mom says. Wow now she takes the time to be a mom, exactly the time when i dont want her to be "I mean if you get better than maybe actually charlie will do something with his life" well... that ruined our mother daughter moment. But its not like i was even going to go if she really actually wanted me to. I look over her and i can see her attemp a look of a conserned parent. If i were to grade her it would be a C because it really only looked like she was grimising.
"I am not going to therapy" i signed to her
"well then thats ok too" then she looked happy because she probably felt like she filled in her motherly duety for the year.
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I am jolted awake when my mom pulls to a sudden stop down the street from my house. I didnt even notice that i fell asleep. It must have been weird for my mom to have me drooling in her perfectly clean car.
"You know maybe the doctor is right Lucy. It might do us all some good for you to go to therapy" my mom says. Wow now she takes the time to be a mom, exactly the time when i dont want her to be "I mean if you get better than maybe actually charlie will do something with his life" well... that ruined our mother daughter moment. But its not like i was even going to go if she really actually wanted me to. I look over her and i can see her attemp a look of a conserned parent. If i were to grade her it would be a C because it really only looked like she was grimising.
"I am not going to therapy" i signed to her
"well then thats ok too" then she looked happy because she probably felt like she filled in her motherly duety for the year.
