I’m floating away. Away from this pit of nothingness called earth and away from a reality that has no grip on me. Away from a world that seems to be helping me along by pushing while I’m pulling away. I’d gladly fall off the face of the earth any day because the only thing I desire for, that is a part of this life, is death. And I have achieved it... or so I thought.
I wake to the sound of life. Without even opening my eyes I can tell there are at least 5 people here pretending like they actually care that I am here in the hospital for the third time in a year. They are all whispering behind their ears gossiping about what will happen to me now. I hear the words loony bin, psychiatrist, drugs; and I mentally roll my eyes.Drugs? I'm already on drugs... well not anymore now that I'm in the hospital. And I am not going to a mental institute. I simply refuse. No matter how many times I may repeat this cycle, I will not go. My mom might try but I’ll just tell her that I’ll try to kill myself yet again but I’ll make sure I succeed. But it’s not like she cares anyway.
I decide to open my eyes before the gossiping can get too out of hand. I was right, 5 people in my room gawking at me (including the doctor). I look next to me to see who is holding my hand. I am about to tell them off but I notice that it is Charlie, my brother. He notices that I’m awake and takes his hand out of mine, knowing that I hate it when people touch me.
"Oh, Lucy" he says to me. All the talking in the hospital room stops. Here comes the big spiel on how I did wrong and how I let him down and worried to death. "Why Lucy, why?" he stops there. He gives me a look where he actually half expects a real answer out of me. But I just turn my head away from him because I can feel the tears coming. I haven’t spoken in front of people since my dad died 3 years ago. The only people that I talk to in this world are Charlie....and my drug dealer/ boyfriend.
I try to sit up to motion for everyone to leave my room but then I felt the pain. There is pain all over my body. Everything feels like it is being stabbed with a knife. The pain from my car accident and from my detox. I feel like I’m going to pass out because the pain is so unbearable. My brother notices my pain and calls the doctor over. I see the doctor push a few buttons on the machine next to me and squirt some type of fluid into my IV. I feel my eyes getting heavy. I know I am falling asleep. I look over to Charlie and I see
I wake to the sound of life. Without even opening my eyes I can tell there are at least 5 people here pretending like they actually care that I am here in the hospital for the third time in a year. They are all whispering behind their ears gossiping about what will happen to me now. I hear the words loony bin, psychiatrist, drugs; and I mentally roll my eyes.Drugs? I'm already on drugs... well not anymore now that I'm in the hospital. And I am not going to a mental institute. I simply refuse. No matter how many times I may repeat this cycle, I will not go. My mom might try but I’ll just tell her that I’ll try to kill myself yet again but I’ll make sure I succeed. But it’s not like she cares anyway.
I decide to open my eyes before the gossiping can get too out of hand. I was right, 5 people in my room gawking at me (including the doctor). I look next to me to see who is holding my hand. I am about to tell them off but I notice that it is Charlie, my brother. He notices that I’m awake and takes his hand out of mine, knowing that I hate it when people touch me.
"Oh, Lucy" he says to me. All the talking in the hospital room stops. Here comes the big spiel on how I did wrong and how I let him down and worried to death. "Why Lucy, why?" he stops there. He gives me a look where he actually half expects a real answer out of me. But I just turn my head away from him because I can feel the tears coming. I haven’t spoken in front of people since my dad died 3 years ago. The only people that I talk to in this world are Charlie....and my drug dealer/ boyfriend.
I try to sit up to motion for everyone to leave my room but then I felt the pain. There is pain all over my body. Everything feels like it is being stabbed with a knife. The pain from my car accident and from my detox. I feel like I’m going to pass out because the pain is so unbearable. My brother notices my pain and calls the doctor over. I see the doctor push a few buttons on the machine next to me and squirt some type of fluid into my IV. I feel my eyes getting heavy. I know I am falling asleep. I look over to Charlie and I see
