It was fun spending my Homecoming night at Halloween Haunt in an amusement park. I had a lot of fun spending the few days I had with my brother, on thrill rides with creepy people meandering about. It's been really awesome having him here. I just wish I had enough courage to tell him how happy he makes me.
I could tell how sad my friend was when she didn't get a real chance to say hi to him. Well, Caitie is part of the family in a way, it would only make sense that she would feel a little upset about not seeing him. I know how she feels at the moment. I'm hungry, angry at the world for it's stupid schooling systems, and sad. It seems like I have everything I could have ever wanted right now but nothing is making me happy. I haven't played Starcraft 2 since Arik left for college. It feels like I've wasted his money. He did buy the game for me after all. By the time he comes home in November for his Fall break, I'll have something he commissioned ready for him. He asked me to paint a picture for him. I sat down and talked with him on what he wanted and we settled it. He wanted a picture of his action shots from last year's lacrosse season painted. I'm really going to surprise him with it. I'm going to spend almost all of my free time painting it.
It really makes me smile, feeling that I'm giving him something he can look at in college and think of me. I really feel like a stalker at this point but really, I've never spent a moment without him. When he left for college I didn't know what to do and I felt like nothing mattered anymore. It was the text message I recieved from him that kept me going. It told me to do well for him and for our parents. That's really what's been keeping me going all this time. I'm already a month and a half into the school year and it seems like it's only been a few days. At times like this I really wish I was immortal. I think about the future too much and all that I want to get acomplished before I pass on the torch to the next generation. The two of us are always thinking too much about the future.
It seems that since he's been gone all I've been thinking about is the future. What will it be like when I graduate? What will college be like? Will I have kids? Will I ever get married? Will I be able to work in my dream career? There are just so many questions that I want answered but those answers require patience. At this point I just want to know the future. Often times I wonder what happens when I die. I'm skeptical about rising up to heaven and meeting God, but I want to believe it. My mom doesn't show much interest in the actual religion part itself moreso than the celebrations that come with it. I think that at this point I'm agnositc. I like learning more about religions rather than picking and choosing. I believe in a lot of aspects of religion. I believe in reincarnation, that every living thing has a soul, and many other things. I don't know if I can explain them all but, they all appeal to me. What if all religions have a part of them that is right? Does that make me the holiest since I realize
I could tell how sad my friend was when she didn't get a real chance to say hi to him. Well, Caitie is part of the family in a way, it would only make sense that she would feel a little upset about not seeing him. I know how she feels at the moment. I'm hungry, angry at the world for it's stupid schooling systems, and sad. It seems like I have everything I could have ever wanted right now but nothing is making me happy. I haven't played Starcraft 2 since Arik left for college. It feels like I've wasted his money. He did buy the game for me after all. By the time he comes home in November for his Fall break, I'll have something he commissioned ready for him. He asked me to paint a picture for him. I sat down and talked with him on what he wanted and we settled it. He wanted a picture of his action shots from last year's lacrosse season painted. I'm really going to surprise him with it. I'm going to spend almost all of my free time painting it.
It really makes me smile, feeling that I'm giving him something he can look at in college and think of me. I really feel like a stalker at this point but really, I've never spent a moment without him. When he left for college I didn't know what to do and I felt like nothing mattered anymore. It was the text message I recieved from him that kept me going. It told me to do well for him and for our parents. That's really what's been keeping me going all this time. I'm already a month and a half into the school year and it seems like it's only been a few days. At times like this I really wish I was immortal. I think about the future too much and all that I want to get acomplished before I pass on the torch to the next generation. The two of us are always thinking too much about the future.
It seems that since he's been gone all I've been thinking about is the future. What will it be like when I graduate? What will college be like? Will I have kids? Will I ever get married? Will I be able to work in my dream career? There are just so many questions that I want answered but those answers require patience. At this point I just want to know the future. Often times I wonder what happens when I die. I'm skeptical about rising up to heaven and meeting God, but I want to believe it. My mom doesn't show much interest in the actual religion part itself moreso than the celebrations that come with it. I think that at this point I'm agnositc. I like learning more about religions rather than picking and choosing. I believe in a lot of aspects of religion. I believe in reincarnation, that every living thing has a soul, and many other things. I don't know if I can explain them all but, they all appeal to me. What if all religions have a part of them that is right? Does that make me the holiest since I realize
