August 9, 2010-
Summer has already become a blur. Everything was so happy, so clear. My last week of school was hardly happy. I knew this would be my last summer really happy. My brother is starting college in about three weeks. He's not home right now because he's signed up for a pre-college two-week course that got him ready for college life. So far, I'm into week two, and it's painful.
I haven't felt this bad since my dad left for Iraq almost four years ago. Even that tore me apart. I had lost a year of time that could have been spent happy with my family. As I'm writing this, it's really hard for me not to cry. We missed him so much and I can only imagine what it was like for him.
Getting back to my brother, I miss him a lot. We were practically inseparable...well, by my terms. He told me that I was annoying more often than not. I'm pretty sure I was considering that he was my idol. My brother has everything going for him. His grades weren't so hot, but still, the way he came back from that has inspired me to do better. He really is the sole person I look up to.
And to make matters worse, my friend Caitie is out of town. She won't be back until maybe Wednesday. This has been the worst two weeks of my summer. Sometimes I just want to cry, but I can't. I don't know why, but I just can't. Most of my sorrow is poured out when I sing sad music. I miss them both.
Like any other teenager, I feel like the world has simply blown up in my face. My parents keep telling me that time will heal, but it's only torn a hole in my chest. God that sounded like the lego from Twilight. It's hard not to when someone decides that they're going to make a lego and try to give it emotions. That's the basis for teenagers. They're their own species. Eventually they evolve but that takes about eleven years.
My cat is sitting right on my belly as I'm typing this. He's the sunshine of my life right now. He always makes me feel better when I'm really depressed. I'm only hoping that things will get better. I'm going to break down when my brother leaves for college. Caitie says she'll cry with me. I would be honored to have my best friend shed tears with me. At least I know that I'm not the only one overreacting.
Summer has already become a blur. Everything was so happy, so clear. My last week of school was hardly happy. I knew this would be my last summer really happy. My brother is starting college in about three weeks. He's not home right now because he's signed up for a pre-college two-week course that got him ready for college life. So far, I'm into week two, and it's painful.
I haven't felt this bad since my dad left for Iraq almost four years ago. Even that tore me apart. I had lost a year of time that could have been spent happy with my family. As I'm writing this, it's really hard for me not to cry. We missed him so much and I can only imagine what it was like for him.
Getting back to my brother, I miss him a lot. We were practically inseparable...well, by my terms. He told me that I was annoying more often than not. I'm pretty sure I was considering that he was my idol. My brother has everything going for him. His grades weren't so hot, but still, the way he came back from that has inspired me to do better. He really is the sole person I look up to.
And to make matters worse, my friend Caitie is out of town. She won't be back until maybe Wednesday. This has been the worst two weeks of my summer. Sometimes I just want to cry, but I can't. I don't know why, but I just can't. Most of my sorrow is poured out when I sing sad music. I miss them both.
Like any other teenager, I feel like the world has simply blown up in my face. My parents keep telling me that time will heal, but it's only torn a hole in my chest. God that sounded like the lego from Twilight. It's hard not to when someone decides that they're going to make a lego and try to give it emotions. That's the basis for teenagers. They're their own species. Eventually they evolve but that takes about eleven years.
My cat is sitting right on my belly as I'm typing this. He's the sunshine of my life right now. He always makes me feel better when I'm really depressed. I'm only hoping that things will get better. I'm going to break down when my brother leaves for college. Caitie says she'll cry with me. I would be honored to have my best friend shed tears with me. At least I know that I'm not the only one overreacting.
