What makes me even more angry is when my sophomore friends feel like the world is going to end because the guy they've been with for a year just broke up with them. I always tell them to think of my situation. How do they think I feel? Do I feel happy with no one filling in the empty space beside me? Absolutely not! I have just as big a heart ache as the next person who doesn't have love because they broke up with them. At least I'm not extremely vocal about it. Every day on facebook I see: "Oh, the day is done and my heart breaks into a thousand pieces for you!" or "Please! If I could have just one more day, I would tell you how much that I've missed you since you've been away!" and many other depressing lyrics to songs that I don't really care about.
What about me? What about the little girl who simply can't grow up until someone outside of her family says "I love you"? Can I just have those three magic words please? Maybe just once? Why can't the runt ever get a chance at anything? I know that this all seems like traditional high school dramatic stuff, but this is me, this is how I feel and this is how people are going to see it. I'm broken hearted simply because no one has ever broken it. No being in heaven and on earth has ever broken my heart for me. I've had to do it myself, by simply telling myself that I don't matter or, no one wants you. My parents don't even know how I feel because I don't think that they'll understand if I tell them. Of course, my pain has to be felt, not heard. And of course, untill someone invents a machine that can share the lives of people, with emotions and pain, then no one will "feel" me. You dig?
I was tempted to type in "l.o.l." there because it's become a part of my typing language. It's the closest anyone can get to how I feel with words. Anywho, ON WITH THE DEPRESSING!
Yeah, for as long as I can remember I've always felt like I'm not good enough to deserve anything. I over think everything I do because I'm trying to figure out who it will offend and who it won't. I don't put enough effort into friendships because I don't think that I'm good enough to have friends. I don't think I'm good enough to even breathe. My heart flutters with the depressing black butterfly that allows me to live. Strange that even poetry comes into my life at all times. Maybe I'm live-action poetry? Should my life be a TV series? Nah, no one wants to hear a stupid teen rant on how they don't belong in the world and that isolation is the only way for myself and the world to live in peace. That and the fact that I'm super depressed right now because my mom ruined my day. So, at this point I'll stop the rant at about 10:19 am and continue this later tonight when I've actually completed the school day.
What about me? What about the little girl who simply can't grow up until someone outside of her family says "I love you"? Can I just have those three magic words please? Maybe just once? Why can't the runt ever get a chance at anything? I know that this all seems like traditional high school dramatic stuff, but this is me, this is how I feel and this is how people are going to see it. I'm broken hearted simply because no one has ever broken it. No being in heaven and on earth has ever broken my heart for me. I've had to do it myself, by simply telling myself that I don't matter or, no one wants you. My parents don't even know how I feel because I don't think that they'll understand if I tell them. Of course, my pain has to be felt, not heard. And of course, untill someone invents a machine that can share the lives of people, with emotions and pain, then no one will "feel" me. You dig?
I was tempted to type in "l.o.l." there because it's become a part of my typing language. It's the closest anyone can get to how I feel with words. Anywho, ON WITH THE DEPRESSING!
Yeah, for as long as I can remember I've always felt like I'm not good enough to deserve anything. I over think everything I do because I'm trying to figure out who it will offend and who it won't. I don't put enough effort into friendships because I don't think that I'm good enough to have friends. I don't think I'm good enough to even breathe. My heart flutters with the depressing black butterfly that allows me to live. Strange that even poetry comes into my life at all times. Maybe I'm live-action poetry? Should my life be a TV series? Nah, no one wants to hear a stupid teen rant on how they don't belong in the world and that isolation is the only way for myself and the world to live in peace. That and the fact that I'm super depressed right now because my mom ruined my day. So, at this point I'll stop the rant at about 10:19 am and continue this later tonight when I've actually completed the school day.
