What a day, and it's only half over. I've spent 10 years wanting something, but now that it's here, I'm somehow stressed that it's not happening how I'd planned it. Need to just stop planning so much, stop pretending I'm in control so much, and just let things happen.

I'm such a knot of stress right now- career's unfulfilling, going through a divorce from a woman I'll still always love (just shouldn't have married), and I'll have an old friend showing up on my doorstep a month ahead of schedule.

I should be happy to be healthy, employed, and reasonably sane, but I can't stop my mind from racing most of the time. Reset button needs pushing, or the failsafe needs to be tripped, before I crumple into a failed heap of quivering goo.