07/12/2010: My legs feel good, like it's time to keep moving. I've been training up for a cycling event for about 6 weeks now. They've been mostly easy miles, with a few climbing days in there, but 300 miles is still a good bit of training before doing back-to-back 55 mile days in the countryside. Add to that our 5-mile mountain hike on Saturday, and I should be feeling pretty beat. But my legs feel good, and it does feel like it's time to keep moving.

I'm not exactly burning bridges at my job, but I'm standing on the trestle with a torch in hand, for sure. Once you get so fed up that you're ready to walk away from the money, the "security", and all the unfulfilling bullshit, it's tough to sit here and smile. So I really haven't been smiling much at the guilty parties around me, and when pushed I've been pushing back.

It's a fantasy that I'll just get up and walk out, but its one of those fantasies that's only separated from reality by a willingness to act. I am afraid to act, but I no longer feel trapped by fear like I once was. The fear is from the attachment, and the attachment to this job is all wrong- I'm still holding out some hope that it will become something else, something it was supposed to have been from the beginning. Sounds like my marriage.

I stood up and made that change, I can stand up and make this one. Just need to trust myself, let go of the brakes, and get moving.