Here I am, having returned to the world of the living. A lot has happened in the past couple of weeks, but through all of it I knew things would turn out alright. When I wrote last I was in a place where it didn't seem as though things weren't going to work out - there was money trouble at home, problems with my (lousy) job, I ran into a very big problem concerning Michael, and my love life was taking a toll on the rest of my life, on top of trying to take care of a sick Bryan while he attempted to get himself ready to leave for Africa (I know, I'm jealous too).
But through all of this, I had one thing to remind myself. The day everything went wrong, I was a complete mess and had no idea what to do. I laid in bed, I cried, I listened to depressing music, I hid from the world. And the next morning I made a bracelet; nothing fancy, just a strand of pink ribbon with the ends tied to itself so I can slide the knots tighter or looser. When I put it on I told myself "This is for you. This is your reminder that you come first. You are what matters."
Somedays I need to wear it. Things get rough, I start to slip, and then I remind myself that I am in control of my own destiny. As silly as that sounds, it's good to be reminded of my own personal power and control over my life.
Like I said, things have gotten better. My boss doesn't hate me, my dad should be interviewing for a new job soon, Michael and I have managed to sort things out, and Bryan is safe and healthy in Africa. He messages me every day and shows me pictures and videos of the things he's doing. He makes me so proud to be his friend and to see that he is doing an incredible job with The Gabriel Project. He's going to do so much good for the world, I can feel it.
I must get back to my mundane life - I woke up with a splitting headache that does not want to go away, so I'm watching movies on TV while I figure out what this may be caused from. I bid you adieu until (hopefully) tomorrow.
But through all of this, I had one thing to remind myself. The day everything went wrong, I was a complete mess and had no idea what to do. I laid in bed, I cried, I listened to depressing music, I hid from the world. And the next morning I made a bracelet; nothing fancy, just a strand of pink ribbon with the ends tied to itself so I can slide the knots tighter or looser. When I put it on I told myself "This is for you. This is your reminder that you come first. You are what matters."
Somedays I need to wear it. Things get rough, I start to slip, and then I remind myself that I am in control of my own destiny. As silly as that sounds, it's good to be reminded of my own personal power and control over my life.
Like I said, things have gotten better. My boss doesn't hate me, my dad should be interviewing for a new job soon, Michael and I have managed to sort things out, and Bryan is safe and healthy in Africa. He messages me every day and shows me pictures and videos of the things he's doing. He makes me so proud to be his friend and to see that he is doing an incredible job with The Gabriel Project. He's going to do so much good for the world, I can feel it.
I must get back to my mundane life - I woke up with a splitting headache that does not want to go away, so I'm watching movies on TV while I figure out what this may be caused from. I bid you adieu until (hopefully) tomorrow.
