just says, "Oh, I can take a nap tomorrow after work, no big deal." Thus leaving me shafted once again. My mind literally wraps itself in knots when I start asking questions about him. Is it something I've done wrong, does he like them better than he likes me, am I really just not that fun? We constantly debate on why we're fighting, why we push each other's buttons, and why we feel it necessary to piss each other off, but nothing ever gets solved.
What hurts the most are the phone calls. I just hung up from a conversation with him and it just makes me feel so minuscule in his life. I invited him to lunch tomorrow, but he can't, because he's going to a show with Bobby in Philly. I want to go to the shore on Monday, but current issues with other friends are preventing me from doing so. His advice? "Just tell her you can't and go to the shore, she'll understand." The issue involves Justine and her tattoo appointment that I told her I would be that. "But she can't go to this appointment alone, I told her I'd be there." "She'll be fine." "Michael, when was the last time you got a tattoo alone?" "Never. The first one was Sarah Jane, the second was Diva. And the third. And the fourth."
Now granted, he has been in the room with me when I got one of mine done, but he was being a snotty brat and left the room when I told him to relax, because I didn't want to know every step the artist was doing.
I'm constantly in battle for an hour of his time. Whenever he calls I ask if I can see him, and when he tells me his schedule and says he'll see what he can do, it just makes me feel so small in his life. He never shows up when he says he'll be there, he never acknowledges the fact that he's late or forgot, and what gets under my skin the most is when he DOES forget and doesn't apologize. I always get "Sara, you've known me for years now, you know how I work," but that's not effort. I'm not getting any effort, and it kills me. I constantly analyze myself to make sure I'm not stepping out of line, I'm making sure he's comfortable and happy. But ask him for a favor and it's like pulling teeth.
I'm sorry that I can do nothing but rant today, but it seems that there is no safe outlet for me to gripe any more. He sees everything, reads it all,
What hurts the most are the phone calls. I just hung up from a conversation with him and it just makes me feel so minuscule in his life. I invited him to lunch tomorrow, but he can't, because he's going to a show with Bobby in Philly. I want to go to the shore on Monday, but current issues with other friends are preventing me from doing so. His advice? "Just tell her you can't and go to the shore, she'll understand." The issue involves Justine and her tattoo appointment that I told her I would be that. "But she can't go to this appointment alone, I told her I'd be there." "She'll be fine." "Michael, when was the last time you got a tattoo alone?" "Never. The first one was Sarah Jane, the second was Diva. And the third. And the fourth."
Now granted, he has been in the room with me when I got one of mine done, but he was being a snotty brat and left the room when I told him to relax, because I didn't want to know every step the artist was doing.
I'm constantly in battle for an hour of his time. Whenever he calls I ask if I can see him, and when he tells me his schedule and says he'll see what he can do, it just makes me feel so small in his life. He never shows up when he says he'll be there, he never acknowledges the fact that he's late or forgot, and what gets under my skin the most is when he DOES forget and doesn't apologize. I always get "Sara, you've known me for years now, you know how I work," but that's not effort. I'm not getting any effort, and it kills me. I constantly analyze myself to make sure I'm not stepping out of line, I'm making sure he's comfortable and happy. But ask him for a favor and it's like pulling teeth.
I'm sorry that I can do nothing but rant today, but it seems that there is no safe outlet for me to gripe any more. He sees everything, reads it all,
