Here is my wah wah my life sucks whiney page. In 2 days of dish duty I do more than my sister does in a week. She makes dinner, I clean up. I make dinner, I clean that up too. She's lazy and full of excuses. She's been sick for 2 weeks, hacking and sneezing all over the house. I get exactly what she's got. Told her she's spread her plague through the house. She claims it wasnt her, it was one of her kids. She's a liar and a cheat. A literal cheat, on her boyfriend. Boyfriends I should say. A user and abuser. She uses all of these guys for their money, their clothes whatever she can stick her greedy claws into. She's 28 has 2 kids and lives with her parents. She lives off the state. I'm not claiming I'm any better. I still live at home, I hate it but I have no where else to go. I've been searching desperately for a job but theres nothing. Mom keeps suggesting volunteer work. Mom, volunteers dont get paid stfu. I live at home but at least I contribute. I cook, clean, help out whenever I can. Though according to my mother I do nothing. To my father, I am a debt. I know the worlds not fair. I've never asked it to be. I explode inside my head. I dont talk about a good majority of the issues I have. I can deal with it on my own. I have for this long with out someone else interfering. I've been to the shrink before. That woman was unqualified, and had a hard time telling the difference between a lie and the truth. She had an epic candy dish though. I'm fat, always have been, minus early early childhood. I cant look in the mirror and see the progress I've made. 298.6 to 225.2 I know I've done something, but I'll always see myself the same way. I dont know how to shop for clothes that fit so mostly everything is baggy on me. Those who knew me before can see a difference, family too. I can be naked in front of the my reflection and be nothing but disgusted. Suck it in, still gross. Pull it back, tuck it, try to hide it. Squint until I'm nothing but a blur. A fat, grotesque blur. I cant see the value in myself. The reasons why people befriend me. Is it some cruel joke? Am I just a laugh? I have been before, why should it change?