I'm tired. I am a lot lately. I dont sleep as well as I used to. My dreams, are dreams like I've never had before. My dreams had a pattern, were predictable. What's happening now a lot of the time I dont understand, they have become more vivid, and realistic. I like who I am in my dreams, brave, curageous, beautiful. The idealist version of self of course. It is dreamland we're talking about. I'm talking about.
It's hot today, I dont like heat. I still feel sick. My ribs hurt and I cant figure out why. It's too loud in my house, the tv is always obnoxiously loud. I have sensative ears, I used to get ear infections a lot when I was little. It was always an ear infection or tonsillitis. I dont have tonsils anymore, so thats not a problem.
I just want to sleep. I want it to be cold. I want to have someone to cuddle against. Human contact besides my family. I miss the cold, a lot. The Califonia heat is creeping back into existence and I hate it. I've been here too long. I need to be somewhere else. Somewhere that has weather, or at least cold weather.
I'm still tired. But I probably wont get to fall asleep until after midnight. I do this to myself. Slow form of torture I guess. Deprive myself of sleep. So I can be comatose and blank for a day. Epty Fortu. Not empty of fortune. Empty for not. Empty for nothing. Spaispach antrol. For fear of complete loss. This particular part is directed at a specific someone.
I'm overheating and I havent moved. Too hot. A muscle in my leg is vibrating, I hate that feeling. It annoys me. Heat. Headache. Pain. Lots of pain. It's there but I'm ignoring it. I've got more strength then I'm given credit for. Physical and otherwise. I'm a girl so physically most people assume I am weak. But I'm not. I'm not a body builder, but I can move and ancient refrigerator on my own. Off the bed of my truck and up a set of stairs. And I can take a million blows to my ego, you'll see me cry but you'll never know how much I'm hurting. I can hide things, bury them deep. I will wear the mask that you adore. For no reason other than to make you happy. And you will play along. We will dance on psychedelic rain drops, and drive through puddles in a hurst painted by flames. And you might notice the difference but I wont show the pain.
It's hot today, I dont like heat. I still feel sick. My ribs hurt and I cant figure out why. It's too loud in my house, the tv is always obnoxiously loud. I have sensative ears, I used to get ear infections a lot when I was little. It was always an ear infection or tonsillitis. I dont have tonsils anymore, so thats not a problem.
I just want to sleep. I want it to be cold. I want to have someone to cuddle against. Human contact besides my family. I miss the cold, a lot. The Califonia heat is creeping back into existence and I hate it. I've been here too long. I need to be somewhere else. Somewhere that has weather, or at least cold weather.
I'm still tired. But I probably wont get to fall asleep until after midnight. I do this to myself. Slow form of torture I guess. Deprive myself of sleep. So I can be comatose and blank for a day. Epty Fortu. Not empty of fortune. Empty for not. Empty for nothing. Spaispach antrol. For fear of complete loss. This particular part is directed at a specific someone.
I'm overheating and I havent moved. Too hot. A muscle in my leg is vibrating, I hate that feeling. It annoys me. Heat. Headache. Pain. Lots of pain. It's there but I'm ignoring it. I've got more strength then I'm given credit for. Physical and otherwise. I'm a girl so physically most people assume I am weak. But I'm not. I'm not a body builder, but I can move and ancient refrigerator on my own. Off the bed of my truck and up a set of stairs. And I can take a million blows to my ego, you'll see me cry but you'll never know how much I'm hurting. I can hide things, bury them deep. I will wear the mask that you adore. For no reason other than to make you happy. And you will play along. We will dance on psychedelic rain drops, and drive through puddles in a hurst painted by flames. And you might notice the difference but I wont show the pain.
