Lenni never had her heart broken for real. She only had crushes. And to learn that her objects were already attached to others was never a great experience. She would find herself annoyed rather than sad. For her feelings were stemmed from pride, not love. When she learned that her objects found other girls better than her, she was possibly jealous. But it was not because she like the boys so much. It was because she could not bear having them thinking that other girls are better. Matters get worse if all of her friends already know that she likes the guy. It did not even matter if the guy had never talked to her. She would still feel humiliated for falling for a guy who was taken.
Lenni has sworn to not get married. But it was because she was scared. She would rather not be involved with love. She does not want to be "embarrassed" by it any more. What are the things that are enough to make her "embarrassed" by her object? If he has had a girlfriend, or have liked someone else. That is enough to trigger her pride. Her ideal boyfriend is pure, never in love with anyone but her. He is perfect. But such person does not exist. Lenni herself have fell for many guys. There were about 3 she has been obsessed of. How could she expect a guy so pure to fall for her? If he exists, she would not have deserved him.
Lenni has such unrealistic high expectations. And she knows it. She just could not adjust it. She has too much pride. The only solution for her is to be an old maid. Yes, to decide to be an old maid at an age of 21! To start living like one shall insure that she will remain an old maid.
Lenni looked in the mirror. The girl staring back was not ugly; plenty of uglier girls were able to find boyfriends. For some reasons, Lenni does not attract guys. This distresses her sometimes. But deep down she still knows that boys have such poor judgment, and she would be an idiot to care about them. But Lenni does feel lonely at times.
"So this is what it's like to be Miss Bates", she whispered to herself.
"This is what I want, is it not?"
Lenni is a sensible girl, though. She knows that being married could not have been better than being single.
Lenni has sworn to not get married. But it was because she was scared. She would rather not be involved with love. She does not want to be "embarrassed" by it any more. What are the things that are enough to make her "embarrassed" by her object? If he has had a girlfriend, or have liked someone else. That is enough to trigger her pride. Her ideal boyfriend is pure, never in love with anyone but her. He is perfect. But such person does not exist. Lenni herself have fell for many guys. There were about 3 she has been obsessed of. How could she expect a guy so pure to fall for her? If he exists, she would not have deserved him.
Lenni has such unrealistic high expectations. And she knows it. She just could not adjust it. She has too much pride. The only solution for her is to be an old maid. Yes, to decide to be an old maid at an age of 21! To start living like one shall insure that she will remain an old maid.
Lenni looked in the mirror. The girl staring back was not ugly; plenty of uglier girls were able to find boyfriends. For some reasons, Lenni does not attract guys. This distresses her sometimes. But deep down she still knows that boys have such poor judgment, and she would be an idiot to care about them. But Lenni does feel lonely at times.
"So this is what it's like to be Miss Bates", she whispered to herself.
"This is what I want, is it not?"
Lenni is a sensible girl, though. She knows that being married could not have been better than being single.
