So, I never told you the full story.
Let me sum most of it up so I can get to the really mushy details of how I feel. Sound good?
Summary: Some girl was going to ask him on Monday (this is Sunday at the time). I have to beat her so I set everything up with my teacher, Greenstein, (we're close) on Monday morning. I was asking on a powerpoint/question thing. Anyways, I left to go back to English and ten minutes into class, Greenstein walks in. "I've got bad news," he says. And I'm thinking, "fuck." He tells me that my guy was asked last night. By some girl from our rival school. Over the phone. I was beat by a fucking phone call. Wow. Later that day I messaged him over Facebook. And I just straight up told him I was going to ask. You know what he says? "you shouldve asked sooner."
Umm, what?
Me: haha I was nervous for a week.
Him: y?
Me: idk. i. just was.
Him: haha (I could feel his awkwardness. Which was great. Because after his first answer, I wanted him to feel awkward.)
I asked him what he would've said if I had asked. He said, after 8 minutes of typing and deleting and typing and deleting, "if you wouldve asked first..yea"
What does that mean? It doesn't matter who asks, just who asks first? You wanted me to ask you, but you didn't want to wait? You just don't care, as long as someone asks? I don't understand you. Stop trying to look cool because you feel awkward about anything dealing with this. Just stop. I know you don't put yourself out there. I know you haven't really done anything with any girls. So, why are you acting like this?
It hurts. But I'm not going to tell you. I'm just going to play your game and brush it off. Because you're being stupid.
Some of my guy friends don't think he sounded cocky. They think I'm reading too much into it. And I realized they were right. I need a reason to justify my being annoyed with him. And it worked, for a few hours, before I woke up the next morning and felt all that pain I was pushing away the night before.
I just don't get it. This is why I don't put myself out there. Because of things like this. Because of the simple words you say that can do so much damage.
Let me sum most of it up so I can get to the really mushy details of how I feel. Sound good?
Summary: Some girl was going to ask him on Monday (this is Sunday at the time). I have to beat her so I set everything up with my teacher, Greenstein, (we're close) on Monday morning. I was asking on a powerpoint/question thing. Anyways, I left to go back to English and ten minutes into class, Greenstein walks in. "I've got bad news," he says. And I'm thinking, "fuck." He tells me that my guy was asked last night. By some girl from our rival school. Over the phone. I was beat by a fucking phone call. Wow. Later that day I messaged him over Facebook. And I just straight up told him I was going to ask. You know what he says? "you shouldve asked sooner."
Umm, what?
Me: haha I was nervous for a week.
Him: y?
Me: idk. i. just was.
Him: haha (I could feel his awkwardness. Which was great. Because after his first answer, I wanted him to feel awkward.)
I asked him what he would've said if I had asked. He said, after 8 minutes of typing and deleting and typing and deleting, "if you wouldve asked first..yea"
What does that mean? It doesn't matter who asks, just who asks first? You wanted me to ask you, but you didn't want to wait? You just don't care, as long as someone asks? I don't understand you. Stop trying to look cool because you feel awkward about anything dealing with this. Just stop. I know you don't put yourself out there. I know you haven't really done anything with any girls. So, why are you acting like this?
It hurts. But I'm not going to tell you. I'm just going to play your game and brush it off. Because you're being stupid.
Some of my guy friends don't think he sounded cocky. They think I'm reading too much into it. And I realized they were right. I need a reason to justify my being annoyed with him. And it worked, for a few hours, before I woke up the next morning and felt all that pain I was pushing away the night before.
I just don't get it. This is why I don't put myself out there. Because of things like this. Because of the simple words you say that can do so much damage.
