I need to just do it, right? I need to just ask him. Just get my act together and ASK him. It's just a school dance. Simple, nothing exciting. I don't even want to go. I'd rather just be with him, that's enough for me.
So, why does he make this so hard?
Why does he make me feel like someone's just lit a fire inside me?
Why does he make the back of my throat tingle? And my stomach, why is it fluttering?
I don't even know him. Not like that at least.
And yet it still hurts. It still twists my insides and turns me inside out.
I'm caving in on myself, little by little, and I don't know how to stop it.
I don't know how to get rid of this feeling. I don't know if it's good or bad.
But, if it hurts this way, how can it be good?
How can I possibly overcome this? Get through this?
By talking to him? I've tried that. And it gave me the chills. And I said stupid things and did stupid things. Maybe I scared him away, because I'm just that awkward.
Maybe that's why it hurts. I don't know. I wish I did, but I just don't. Does someone else understand this feeling? The feeling like something is bubbly deep in your gut, threatening to blow, but never actually exploding, so the feeling just stews and festers inside, driving you crazy.

I know people always say the hardest thing to get is what you want. I only want one thing. And it is seeming harder and harder to get with each passing day.
I want this, I know I do. I'm sure.
I just don't know how to get there.

You understand, don't you?