i started to stock the line. everything was empty mushrooms, onions, green peppers, pepperoni, sausage, ham, cheese, beef, pork, tomato, anchovy and on and fucking on…
jason walked in, his uniform was new and pressed. new shoes, new apron. pristine hat. looking all nervous. walking around like he didn’t know what to do.
“come here jasmine.”
“it’s jason.”
“that’s what i said.”
“what am i doing?”
“fuck if i know. what are you doing?”
“fred told me to come ask you what to do.”
“go in the walk in and get mushrooms, onions, green peppers, pepperoni, sausage, ham, cheese, beef, pork, tomato, bacon, pineapple and oranges.” he started to repeat after me.
“get a pad, write it down or look at what we need….just get a fucking pad dude.” he came back with a napkin and a grease pencil.
“here’s a pen man.” i repeated my list. he made his way to the walk in. i proceeded to the office to smoke a cigarette. i picked up the phone and called dan’s house again. the phone rang. i hung up and redialed with *67 before it. they had caller id. the phone rang a couple times and dan answered.
“yellow.” he answered, he always answered like that. idiot.
“hey dan.”
“gooch, uh…hey i am coming up there. i’ve got money for you. i stopped by the other day and you weren’t there. i’ve been trying to get ahold of you i..”
“cut the shit dude. get me the money or i’m gonna kick the fucking shit out of you. it’s not funny, it’s not cute, it’s not cool. i’m gonna beat your fucking ass man do you understand.. get me the money today or i will come to your house and whip your ass in front of your mom in your front yard. kapeesh?”
“i will have it to you tonight. i’m bringing it by before work.”
“$400?”
“wasn’t it like $370?”
“$400 bitch. don’t fuck with me dude, i swear to..”
“ok, alright. $400. see you in a little bit gooch.”
“you’d better.”
“i will, jeeze.” i hung up. dumbfuck. i saw jason out of the corner of my eye walking out of the walk in empty handed.
“can i help you jason?”
“uh, yeah. i can’t carry it all at once.”
“take more than one trip then genius.”
“cool.” he replied. he turned around to walk back into the walk in. he pushed on the door and it wouldn’t move. he pushed again. and a third time. notice he had already been in there. why in the hell was he pushing?
“you pull the handle dude.”
“gotcha.” i could see that he was drooling. it wasn’t a joke. fucker actually was drooling. he pulled and went in. this was gonna be a long ass night.
jason brought out some items. he began to stack them on the make table. i started to fill the line and take things out of their boxes, time them and so on. he was probably going to make 10 trips, 1 item at a time…
“hey jasmine?” i said.
“the name’s jason.” he replied while huffing exhaustedly.
“yeah, i know. how many hands you got?”
“huh?”
“hands, you know the things you fondle yourself with? how many you got man?” he looked at me confused and set down the pineapple on the table.
“uh, two?” he lifted them so i could see them.
“great man, how bout using both of them and bringing out TWO items at least or even stacking boxes on top of each other to speed up the process?”
“i can do that.”
“i’m sure that you can, now it’s just a matter of putting that ‘can’ into practice.”
jason walked in, his uniform was new and pressed. new shoes, new apron. pristine hat. looking all nervous. walking around like he didn’t know what to do.
“come here jasmine.”
“it’s jason.”
“that’s what i said.”
“what am i doing?”
“fuck if i know. what are you doing?”
“fred told me to come ask you what to do.”
“go in the walk in and get mushrooms, onions, green peppers, pepperoni, sausage, ham, cheese, beef, pork, tomato, bacon, pineapple and oranges.” he started to repeat after me.
“get a pad, write it down or look at what we need….just get a fucking pad dude.” he came back with a napkin and a grease pencil.
“here’s a pen man.” i repeated my list. he made his way to the walk in. i proceeded to the office to smoke a cigarette. i picked up the phone and called dan’s house again. the phone rang. i hung up and redialed with *67 before it. they had caller id. the phone rang a couple times and dan answered.
“yellow.” he answered, he always answered like that. idiot.
“hey dan.”
“gooch, uh…hey i am coming up there. i’ve got money for you. i stopped by the other day and you weren’t there. i’ve been trying to get ahold of you i..”
“cut the shit dude. get me the money or i’m gonna kick the fucking shit out of you. it’s not funny, it’s not cute, it’s not cool. i’m gonna beat your fucking ass man do you understand.. get me the money today or i will come to your house and whip your ass in front of your mom in your front yard. kapeesh?”
“i will have it to you tonight. i’m bringing it by before work.”
“$400?”
“wasn’t it like $370?”
“$400 bitch. don’t fuck with me dude, i swear to..”
“ok, alright. $400. see you in a little bit gooch.”
“you’d better.”
“i will, jeeze.” i hung up. dumbfuck. i saw jason out of the corner of my eye walking out of the walk in empty handed.
“can i help you jason?”
“uh, yeah. i can’t carry it all at once.”
“take more than one trip then genius.”
“cool.” he replied. he turned around to walk back into the walk in. he pushed on the door and it wouldn’t move. he pushed again. and a third time. notice he had already been in there. why in the hell was he pushing?
“you pull the handle dude.”
“gotcha.” i could see that he was drooling. it wasn’t a joke. fucker actually was drooling. he pulled and went in. this was gonna be a long ass night.
jason brought out some items. he began to stack them on the make table. i started to fill the line and take things out of their boxes, time them and so on. he was probably going to make 10 trips, 1 item at a time…
“hey jasmine?” i said.
“the name’s jason.” he replied while huffing exhaustedly.
“yeah, i know. how many hands you got?”
“huh?”
“hands, you know the things you fondle yourself with? how many you got man?” he looked at me confused and set down the pineapple on the table.
“uh, two?” he lifted them so i could see them.
“great man, how bout using both of them and bringing out TWO items at least or even stacking boxes on top of each other to speed up the process?”
“i can do that.”
“i’m sure that you can, now it’s just a matter of putting that ‘can’ into practice.”
