fuck it. why shower then? i put on the same pair of black dickies cords. those fuckers were almost see through. i wore them every day. every damned day and that red belt. one of those military belts with the slide pin. i don't know what the hell you call it. i remember this old broad judy i worked with wore one but it was black. she had to take a leak one time and she couldn't get it unhooked. it was so funny. she was like "i'm gonna pee my pants! i'm gonna pee my pants!" i couldn't stop laughing. shit was damned hilarious. she asked me if i would help her get it off. there was some phoney hoity toity workplace sex jokes that make you feel uncomfortable cuz she's always looking at your nis area. you know, penis. nis...get it. it's fine, it doesn't really bother me. if she had good tits, i'd probably hit it. i got it unhooked and she didn't pee her pants. i call her peepee sometimes though. she gets all pissy about it, it's pretty damn funny. that and the fact that i said she gets pissy. sometimes it's all about piss..like right now.
i pulled my roller out and twisted a number. i lit it and hit it four times. this bag was pretty decent, four hits got me there. i was cool. i grabbed the old spice. i don't usually wear cologne but i had some. i had old spice. i was in a play and i played this 60 year old man and i tried to get every hint of his character. i swore that he would have worn old spice so i bought it. shit smells good as hell. i shot a squirt in the cockiss area. you get it, i don't have to spell it out for you. a couple few squirts and those see through pants smell like a hundred bucks.
i walked to my car to look for my work hat. i couldn't find it in the apartment. i don't remember where the hell i put it most times. clearly this is one of those times. i had the door open and i was leaning in across the seat. i was looking around in there and i didn't see it. i stood up and i saw this old man in the car next to mine. he was looking over his other shoulder backing up. he had cut the wheel pretty hard and his car was literally rubbing my door and pushing it closed. there was one real big fucking problem. i was in between the door and the door jamb of the car. fuck. the door had me pinned and was really digging into my adams apple. my eyes began to close. i could feel myself starting to fade. i tried really hard to scream but i couldn't. i had no air. the fucking old man just kept going. i looked down on the dashboard of my car. there was my fucking hat. brim jammed down where the glass and dash meet. i remembered thinking that i didn't remember putting it there and that i thought it was strange. i faded out of consiousness.
i pulled my roller out and twisted a number. i lit it and hit it four times. this bag was pretty decent, four hits got me there. i was cool. i grabbed the old spice. i don't usually wear cologne but i had some. i had old spice. i was in a play and i played this 60 year old man and i tried to get every hint of his character. i swore that he would have worn old spice so i bought it. shit smells good as hell. i shot a squirt in the cockiss area. you get it, i don't have to spell it out for you. a couple few squirts and those see through pants smell like a hundred bucks.
i walked to my car to look for my work hat. i couldn't find it in the apartment. i don't remember where the hell i put it most times. clearly this is one of those times. i had the door open and i was leaning in across the seat. i was looking around in there and i didn't see it. i stood up and i saw this old man in the car next to mine. he was looking over his other shoulder backing up. he had cut the wheel pretty hard and his car was literally rubbing my door and pushing it closed. there was one real big fucking problem. i was in between the door and the door jamb of the car. fuck. the door had me pinned and was really digging into my adams apple. my eyes began to close. i could feel myself starting to fade. i tried really hard to scream but i couldn't. i had no air. the fucking old man just kept going. i looked down on the dashboard of my car. there was my fucking hat. brim jammed down where the glass and dash meet. i remembered thinking that i didn't remember putting it there and that i thought it was strange. i faded out of consiousness.
