i often write letters to let companies know how i feel about things. i feel as though it is my duty to do it. i have a lot to say about a lot of things and i think that my opinion is a hell of a lot more valuable than a focus group. i'm a free focus group. i'm the real shit. i once wrote a letter to best buy to let them know how disappointed in hewlet packard printers i was. i told them that they should discontinue their relationship with them because they don't honor rebates that they offer. it's fucking bullshit. there are so many phoney ass rebate hoops to jump through.
(you can't really get what they are offering unless you send the baby toe of a female rabbit. what the fuck are you writing dude? nobody's gonna get that. you made your point, leave it alone. why do you have to always do that shit. go on and on and on. see now you're doing it again. nobody cares.)
i wrote a letter to burger king letting them know that they have the best vegetarian options as far as burgers go. their pricing strategy is totally fucked though and they need to revisit their approach. i have probably been to the burger king in perrysburg 15 times in 2 years and i always order the same thing. vegetarian whopper with cheese, extra pickle onion rings and a diet coke and every fucking time, it costs a different amoutn. .005% of america is vegetarian. that means that 1 out of every 200 customers is a vegetarian. on average, a burger king sees 600 customers a day(this is based off of data that taco bell see's 1000 customers a day and burger king is 40% less good than taco bell). this would make the law of averages at 3 people or 21 customers a week. doesn't seem like much. i know. but that's almost 1100 customers a year at one location. if treated fairly, they will return an exponential amount of times and bring their vegetarian friends. i will not continue with this much longer but i will let you know that my analysis is appreciated by burger king because they told me so.
i wrote a letter to little caesars pizza letting them know that the dude dancing in front of their establishment was doing one hell of a job. he danced with reckless abandon and was often the bright point of my day on my way home from work. he was sweaty as hell and he did every move he knew as hard as he could and he owned that job. the perfect example of throwing fish. that fish market in seatle that throws fish? you know the one. they throw the fish. they began throwing fish because their job sucked so much ass. they wanted to make it fun. that's what this dude was doing in front of caesars. throwing mother fucking fish. bang up job. i had to write and tell them that he was fucking awesome and that they should put him in a commercial. no letter back. that's ok. i think it's because i told them that their pizza was terrible anymore. that i was so disappointed in their approach and that they haven't made a good pizza since the hot and ready came out.
(you can't really get what they are offering unless you send the baby toe of a female rabbit. what the fuck are you writing dude? nobody's gonna get that. you made your point, leave it alone. why do you have to always do that shit. go on and on and on. see now you're doing it again. nobody cares.)
i wrote a letter to burger king letting them know that they have the best vegetarian options as far as burgers go. their pricing strategy is totally fucked though and they need to revisit their approach. i have probably been to the burger king in perrysburg 15 times in 2 years and i always order the same thing. vegetarian whopper with cheese, extra pickle onion rings and a diet coke and every fucking time, it costs a different amoutn. .005% of america is vegetarian. that means that 1 out of every 200 customers is a vegetarian. on average, a burger king sees 600 customers a day(this is based off of data that taco bell see's 1000 customers a day and burger king is 40% less good than taco bell). this would make the law of averages at 3 people or 21 customers a week. doesn't seem like much. i know. but that's almost 1100 customers a year at one location. if treated fairly, they will return an exponential amount of times and bring their vegetarian friends. i will not continue with this much longer but i will let you know that my analysis is appreciated by burger king because they told me so.
i wrote a letter to little caesars pizza letting them know that the dude dancing in front of their establishment was doing one hell of a job. he danced with reckless abandon and was often the bright point of my day on my way home from work. he was sweaty as hell and he did every move he knew as hard as he could and he owned that job. the perfect example of throwing fish. that fish market in seatle that throws fish? you know the one. they throw the fish. they began throwing fish because their job sucked so much ass. they wanted to make it fun. that's what this dude was doing in front of caesars. throwing mother fucking fish. bang up job. i had to write and tell them that he was fucking awesome and that they should put him in a commercial. no letter back. that's ok. i think it's because i told them that their pizza was terrible anymore. that i was so disappointed in their approach and that they haven't made a good pizza since the hot and ready came out.
