months and that i was going to be evicted the following friday unless i came up with around a grand to pay the fees. i went to the bank and emptied my account (except for the $10 minimum to keep the account active). i had about $400 in there, i had about $350 cash and a shit ton of returnables. i lived in michigan, every carbonated drink had a deposit of $.10 on it. we drank a lot of beer. i had a lot of returnables. about $40 worth plus i was waiting tables at pizza hut the next 2 days. i should be able to come up with the dough to pay the bill. i came about fifty shy. i called my mother on the payphone and hit her up for the remainder. she had the money. you're probably asking why i didn't hit don up for the scratch in the first place.
let's take it back another couple of steps.
i got a phone bill (land line) for $1365 for 1 month. ONE MONTH. you're probably thinking that this is a lot of talking for two dudes to do and pay for in one month. it is. it's a whole fucking lot. but it turns out that it really isn't that much if your roomate is calling 900 numbers. you know, porn lines. also the psychic friends network. i was mad as hell when the bill came. i got straight up in his ass about it. he claimed that it wasn't him. that it was probably someone at one of the parties we had. i speculated something to the tune of "how the fuck can someone run up a phone bill over $1000 at a party?" at $5 a minute, someone would have to be on the phone for over 4 hours in private where nobody saw them. as a matter of fact, i got a call one day from a chick named zena. she wanted to offer me a special offer for being such a good customer with the psychic friends network. i asked her if she was so psychic, to tell me who was calling them. she said it was confidential. i politely told her to fuck off and she said that i was talking to the wrong 900 number and that fucking off was something that other companies did and not theirs. i conceded. anyway, i ended up putting the phone into don's name so as not to have my credit fucked. i felt better about that. i didn't have a phone though. i ended up with a cellular phone. a big one. not the czach morris type but more of the trapazoidal sized one that read like a calculator in big amber numbers. you couldn't save contacts and just about everywhere you went was a roaming charge. i would have $300 phone bills and only talk for 200 minutes. my plan was 120 minutes a month for $80. what a deal. i had a pager too. man was i ever connected. when i got that 911 page, i knew someone was in deep shit. i drove as fast as i could to a pay phone. i would have used my cell phone but i didn't have a car charger and basically you could talk on it for 5 minutes before the battery died so i left it plugged in like a land line. but hid it behind my bed so don wouldn't find it and use it. this led me to the next big bill. the electric bill.
let's take it back another couple of steps.
i got a phone bill (land line) for $1365 for 1 month. ONE MONTH. you're probably thinking that this is a lot of talking for two dudes to do and pay for in one month. it is. it's a whole fucking lot. but it turns out that it really isn't that much if your roomate is calling 900 numbers. you know, porn lines. also the psychic friends network. i was mad as hell when the bill came. i got straight up in his ass about it. he claimed that it wasn't him. that it was probably someone at one of the parties we had. i speculated something to the tune of "how the fuck can someone run up a phone bill over $1000 at a party?" at $5 a minute, someone would have to be on the phone for over 4 hours in private where nobody saw them. as a matter of fact, i got a call one day from a chick named zena. she wanted to offer me a special offer for being such a good customer with the psychic friends network. i asked her if she was so psychic, to tell me who was calling them. she said it was confidential. i politely told her to fuck off and she said that i was talking to the wrong 900 number and that fucking off was something that other companies did and not theirs. i conceded. anyway, i ended up putting the phone into don's name so as not to have my credit fucked. i felt better about that. i didn't have a phone though. i ended up with a cellular phone. a big one. not the czach morris type but more of the trapazoidal sized one that read like a calculator in big amber numbers. you couldn't save contacts and just about everywhere you went was a roaming charge. i would have $300 phone bills and only talk for 200 minutes. my plan was 120 minutes a month for $80. what a deal. i had a pager too. man was i ever connected. when i got that 911 page, i knew someone was in deep shit. i drove as fast as i could to a pay phone. i would have used my cell phone but i didn't have a car charger and basically you could talk on it for 5 minutes before the battery died so i left it plugged in like a land line. but hid it behind my bed so don wouldn't find it and use it. this led me to the next big bill. the electric bill.
