I left my job because I was tired of it. I wanted to "make the leap" - to pursue screenwriting.
Ten months later, there is no screenplay. There has been books read about screenplays. There have been screenplays read. I've made index cards. I've researched movies. I've made notes about those movies. I've reviewed notes. I've spent time thinking. But still no screenplay, after ten months.
I want to write a screenplay. But as I sit here, a few hours into a large block of time, I have not started the writing process. I do everything I can to AVOID the writing process. Why do I do this? Am I scared of having no ideas? I always have ideas if I settle, if I relax.
It's amazing - all this time that has passed since I left my job - ten months - all the hours of "free" time... and when have I felt free? I was always scared about something... awaiting something... another appointment up ahead so I can't relax now.
I am done with this suffering. I wil pull those index cards out. I will review my notes. And I will have fun doing something I enjoy: creating a movie. I remember that feeling I get after seeing a good movie: I can do this. I can definitely do this. This is why I'm here.
But I don't. I put it off "just one more day". I get high. I get scared. Not anymore. Let's have fun. Let's do this. Kick the internet habit. Why stand on the sidelines, reading of other's success. Do something. Languishing in the world of thoughts only brings suffering. Head to the world of focus. Of action. Let's do this.
Please Muse descend upon me tonight. Give me the strength to pick up the "pen". What, at this moment, is lacking? Nothing. Go on.
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Ten months later, there is no screenplay. There has been books read about screenplays. There have been screenplays read. I've made index cards. I've researched movies. I've made notes about those movies. I've reviewed notes. I've spent time thinking. But still no screenplay, after ten months.
I want to write a screenplay. But as I sit here, a few hours into a large block of time, I have not started the writing process. I do everything I can to AVOID the writing process. Why do I do this? Am I scared of having no ideas? I always have ideas if I settle, if I relax.
It's amazing - all this time that has passed since I left my job - ten months - all the hours of "free" time... and when have I felt free? I was always scared about something... awaiting something... another appointment up ahead so I can't relax now.
I am done with this suffering. I wil pull those index cards out. I will review my notes. And I will have fun doing something I enjoy: creating a movie. I remember that feeling I get after seeing a good movie: I can do this. I can definitely do this. This is why I'm here.
But I don't. I put it off "just one more day". I get high. I get scared. Not anymore. Let's have fun. Let's do this. Kick the internet habit. Why stand on the sidelines, reading of other's success. Do something. Languishing in the world of thoughts only brings suffering. Head to the world of focus. Of action. Let's do this.
Please Muse descend upon me tonight. Give me the strength to pick up the "pen". What, at this moment, is lacking? Nothing. Go on.
%%%%%%%
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