its fourth of july and everything is all over the place in my head. i miss you. i miss you so much it hurts more than period cramps. which is saying a lot!
menstruation aside, you hurt me so much by leaving me, and i know no matter how much i adore you, love is not bringing you back.
i have your numbers saved in my phone, beseeching me to call you, to text you. "a swimming ghost"
i keep your picture up in my room, where i can see it
i think about you fleetingly, not daily, but you sneak up on me
i'm the one who's a creeper i suppose. the same sort i roll my eyes at when they message me. that's what i am to you, i'm sure. but Ghost, don't loathe me, don't even pity me. I miss the smell and feel of you. That smile and laugh you had for me. Your voice. i miss you. you were my best friend, my first love. to this day no one equals you. and if they come close, they hurt me as much as you did and do. Hurt, i once said you had two faces, each equally beautiful. The thing is I couldn't see either, even if you had them. i remember fondly the softness of your tiny hands, and the look you'd get when reading. how all i wanted was to give you everything your heart desired. if only you'd let me be near you. but i guess that's not a ghost's nature is it? you're only there long enough for me to glance, and then you swim away again.
i need someone new to love. losing everything, losing everyone
the black hole in my heart is growing
it's so cold and hungry and unstoppable.
you tear me to pieces. you rend me.