She found herself wishing it never ended, and she hated herself for that. She hated herself for being so excited about such a stupid situation. She hated herself for wanting him so badly, when he clearly couldn't care less. She really hated herself.
She didn't know if she wished the manager got there sooner, because, although the 'conversation' made her particularly uneasy, she was finally feeling something different than that pain of being forgotten she seemed to feel all the time lately, as pathetic as realizing that made her feel.
Then she noticed that he had put his coat back on her shoulders. How did that happen?
This time she didn't want to take it off. Feeling better and tiny bit more confident than before she asked him, "Aren't you cold?" To which he said, "Oh please. I wasn't the one who decided to go out for a walk without my sweater on. I'll be surprised if you're not sick in the morning or something," he said, and for a second she thought he was implying he was going to see her again.
But she knew that as much as she wished it was different, the manager would open her door eventually, and all of this would be over. She wouldn't try to contact the boy again, and she was positive he wouldn't try to either. She didn't consider herself interesting enough.
This didn't make her feel like she had to make the most out of this moment or anything like that. She just thought sadly of how she knew this would happen. Of how little moments like these are always over way to soon, and of how you can never do anything about it, because that is simply the way it works. And she was okay with that. She knew she wouldn't be able to handle a friendship or whatever this was.
The boy had been sitting there, next to her, while she thought all of this, not saying a word.
And she was grateful for that. But she then again hated herself for being so quiet and boring, and for not being able to be different, because it was too much of an effort to even try.
She didn't know if she wished the manager got there sooner, because, although the 'conversation' made her particularly uneasy, she was finally feeling something different than that pain of being forgotten she seemed to feel all the time lately, as pathetic as realizing that made her feel.
Then she noticed that he had put his coat back on her shoulders. How did that happen?
This time she didn't want to take it off. Feeling better and tiny bit more confident than before she asked him, "Aren't you cold?" To which he said, "Oh please. I wasn't the one who decided to go out for a walk without my sweater on. I'll be surprised if you're not sick in the morning or something," he said, and for a second she thought he was implying he was going to see her again.
But she knew that as much as she wished it was different, the manager would open her door eventually, and all of this would be over. She wouldn't try to contact the boy again, and she was positive he wouldn't try to either. She didn't consider herself interesting enough.
This didn't make her feel like she had to make the most out of this moment or anything like that. She just thought sadly of how she knew this would happen. Of how little moments like these are always over way to soon, and of how you can never do anything about it, because that is simply the way it works. And she was okay with that. She knew she wouldn't be able to handle a friendship or whatever this was.
The boy had been sitting there, next to her, while she thought all of this, not saying a word.
And she was grateful for that. But she then again hated herself for being so quiet and boring, and for not being able to be different, because it was too much of an effort to even try.
