There is a reason that people say what happens when your on vacation or in a foreign country doesn't matter. If a guy asks how many men you've slept with you can say 5, when really it's ten, if any of those happen on vacation or when you lived in a foreign country. Same with smoking you're on vacation it doesn't count. If only I'd stuck to this logic while I was on vacation with Ze German, I would have saved myself the agony of heartbreak that began and ended in my own heart and mind.
The problem was that I had built him up in my head. My imagination had run wild with thoughts of romance. We would see each other for the first time in months and I would run and jump into his arms (at least the slimmer version of myself would) and he'd catch me and swing me around in a plaza as birds flew away agitated by our glee. When in reality this was a guy that had at times ignored my calls, emails and texts and began seeing someone else as I thought we were on the cusp of beginning something meaningful. I was an idiot of mass proportions. Yet, I was also into the chase. Is this what men talk about when they try to get an unattainable woman? For you see we had yet to consummate this relationship or whatever it was. Once upon I had let another hunky German slip through my grasp and it is a regret that I still have to this day.
Oh, you thought we'd made the beast with two backs didn't you? Naughty reader. Nay, we had not. Alas, the drink, had gotten the best of both of us many a time. Even once to my embarrassment during an intimate act, in which I passed out in the middle of, so yes, I had seen the equipment and I was finally going to to be able to give it a proper go. This was also a source of excitement. A Harlequin romance worthy fantasy if there ever was one.
So you see, I was doomed on two sides. Not only had I idealized this guy as the one but also as a sex god. I had swept myself off my feet and he would reap all the benefits without any of the real work. Again, how did I let this happen? But to hell with all of this right, because I was on vacation, in a foreign country to boot so none of this mattered, right? Oh if only my heart had known that. There would be time for more introspection later to re-hash with myself, with friends and strangers what transpired that week in Lisbon between Ze German and me.
In the meantime I would try to live in the moment, not be a needy girl, whose ovaries ached at the thought of our adorable future children. Or even be someone whose ovaries could ache, I just wanted to present my funniest, brightest(slimmest)self to this man that I'd pined for for months. So really the only thing to think about it was what am I going to wear?
The problem was that I had built him up in my head. My imagination had run wild with thoughts of romance. We would see each other for the first time in months and I would run and jump into his arms (at least the slimmer version of myself would) and he'd catch me and swing me around in a plaza as birds flew away agitated by our glee. When in reality this was a guy that had at times ignored my calls, emails and texts and began seeing someone else as I thought we were on the cusp of beginning something meaningful. I was an idiot of mass proportions. Yet, I was also into the chase. Is this what men talk about when they try to get an unattainable woman? For you see we had yet to consummate this relationship or whatever it was. Once upon I had let another hunky German slip through my grasp and it is a regret that I still have to this day.
Oh, you thought we'd made the beast with two backs didn't you? Naughty reader. Nay, we had not. Alas, the drink, had gotten the best of both of us many a time. Even once to my embarrassment during an intimate act, in which I passed out in the middle of, so yes, I had seen the equipment and I was finally going to to be able to give it a proper go. This was also a source of excitement. A Harlequin romance worthy fantasy if there ever was one.
So you see, I was doomed on two sides. Not only had I idealized this guy as the one but also as a sex god. I had swept myself off my feet and he would reap all the benefits without any of the real work. Again, how did I let this happen? But to hell with all of this right, because I was on vacation, in a foreign country to boot so none of this mattered, right? Oh if only my heart had known that. There would be time for more introspection later to re-hash with myself, with friends and strangers what transpired that week in Lisbon between Ze German and me.
In the meantime I would try to live in the moment, not be a needy girl, whose ovaries ached at the thought of our adorable future children. Or even be someone whose ovaries could ache, I just wanted to present my funniest, brightest(slimmest)self to this man that I'd pined for for months. So really the only thing to think about it was what am I going to wear?
