Sobriety is interesting. Let's be frank: I have been constantly high for three days solid-- not usual for me, but I deemed it necessary. Boss man, of course, believes that our relationship is at it's best-- mostly because I'm always smiling, and he's on top of every situation... and I'm smiling because his shittiness loses steam before it has a chance to take effect on me. It just doesn't register in my head until it's too late. It makes me want to harm him! I want him to be as unhappy as I am. More so, I want him to understand that though he may have a nice income, he is nothing to men I've known who may not even exceed half his fucking income. Money doesn't make you a man. Now that I've experienced wealth, and it's not just a figment of my imagination, I can say this: To me, at least, there is no difference between a $500 dinner and a $50 dollar dinner (save for food quality, which you must know by now I admire)-- if my dining partner is esteemed in my eyes, and I can feel comfortable enough to laugh and be laughed at-- THEN I may be happy. I am learning lessons now that I should have retained as they were recited to me long ago... but until you really experience these lessons yourself, they will never register quite right, and will never be sustained.