This is my most boring state. I lounge in an extra-virgin-olive-oil stained robe on his TemperPedic cloud bed, listening to the music of an old beau, and patiently but passionately longing for another. Three men, though it may sound like two. The first is 41, a man of a bit of wealth whose home I am currently working to make beautiful. He's got a certain fondness for me-- and I am having trouble making him believe I harbor it for him, as well. The second of the men need not be explained, other than what I already have about listening to his sweet croonings. The third is the one I should most like to explain, for he occupies my thoughts the most as he is indeed the happiest and the freest thought. He's my delightful 16 year old, though the wisdom in his eyes far exceeds my own. He's sweet, and though many perceive him as unnecessarily brooding, I know the serious amount of laughter that we've shared. The problem to all this I'm sure you've figured out. I am on one side of the country, playing pretty little housewife to a man who grows less respectable in my eyes every day, and my heart belongs on the other side of the country with a boy I hardly know but understand all too well. A boy! I boy who probably has not the countenance to manage my wild expression, but indeed when I last saw him he because the first to openly laugh at it-- which prompted a partiality in me that I had not known before. I did not know it when that young boy and I dated almost two years ago! Ah! The truth comes out: I'm revealing things all too quickly for normal narrative structure. When he was fourteen and I was sixteen, he a freshman and I a senior, we enjoyed each others nearly constant company for a period of a bit over a month. I was his first kiss, and he was the first young man to ever deny me sexually. We remedied that two years later, four or so weeks ago, of course... but that initial denial (combined, of course, with my steady fondness for his personality) secured his place in my mind for much too long. High school politics severed that relationship rather quickly, as I found myself in a relationship with the high school king, if you will, a young man who constantly dug for proof that he was constantly deep in thought. I shall not show much disrespect, for as young men go he his well off and kind-hearted-- just a bit too easy for me. You may aply your own definition of easy, I'm sure many will suffice.