I am stupid, I know that. But I am filled with a manic, sparkling energy. This is life. This is rage and power. This is joy and pain. This is what they, on the beach, will search for their entire lives and never find, because they are too afraid to brave the waters.
The next set is upon me, and I ride the waves to shore. I do not get the timing right for every wave, and there are rip tides that I get stuck in for long minutes, and Sometimes I get turned around under water and do not know which way is up. I cheat death time and time again. I feel as if we are swimming together, he and I, as equals in the water of life.
I surf again and agian. I know where the shore is, but I lose the concept of it. i know that I must know where it is in order to keep myself from death, but I do not register anyone on it. I do not know that my family is yelling for me to get out of the water, that hardened surfers are looking at each other with raised eyebrows as they see me in water they wouldn't dare swim in. I am unaware of them.
I am wild, I am free. I am powerful. And for what is both a brief instant and an eternity, I feel beautiful. I become part of that which moves me.
And then, suddenly, I am in a rip current that I cannot escape from. O panic for an instant, as its power overwhelms me. I remember to swim along side it, and eventually escape, maybe a mile from where I started out. I swim back to the beach and collapse, gasping on the sand.
I am human again. But I remember the glory of it, the brilliance. I remember what it felt like. As i walk to long walk back to my parents, I am left with a kind of inner peace. I am a small thing in a world of large things. I am a brilliant star in a dark world. I exist. I am fragile, I am strong. The world is good, and I am in it.
But the more I walk on the sand, the more aware i become of the people around me. I know that they see only a chubby little girl with a sunburn. By the time I am with my parents, I am nothing once more. The peace is gone.
The next set is upon me, and I ride the waves to shore. I do not get the timing right for every wave, and there are rip tides that I get stuck in for long minutes, and Sometimes I get turned around under water and do not know which way is up. I cheat death time and time again. I feel as if we are swimming together, he and I, as equals in the water of life.
I surf again and agian. I know where the shore is, but I lose the concept of it. i know that I must know where it is in order to keep myself from death, but I do not register anyone on it. I do not know that my family is yelling for me to get out of the water, that hardened surfers are looking at each other with raised eyebrows as they see me in water they wouldn't dare swim in. I am unaware of them.
I am wild, I am free. I am powerful. And for what is both a brief instant and an eternity, I feel beautiful. I become part of that which moves me.
And then, suddenly, I am in a rip current that I cannot escape from. O panic for an instant, as its power overwhelms me. I remember to swim along side it, and eventually escape, maybe a mile from where I started out. I swim back to the beach and collapse, gasping on the sand.
I am human again. But I remember the glory of it, the brilliance. I remember what it felt like. As i walk to long walk back to my parents, I am left with a kind of inner peace. I am a small thing in a world of large things. I am a brilliant star in a dark world. I exist. I am fragile, I am strong. The world is good, and I am in it.
But the more I walk on the sand, the more aware i become of the people around me. I know that they see only a chubby little girl with a sunburn. By the time I am with my parents, I am nothing once more. The peace is gone.
