8/13
3 a.m. has become my solemn friend during this past week. I feel as though I have nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to, ever since I've left the city. By 'the city,' I obviously mean New York City. I left so much unfinished business there. This unfinished business is also unknown to me, as I have no idea what is calling me to there after I graduate. But I know it's something. I got a taste of a variety of things while I was there, and I still have a variety of interests. It pains me that I no longer have a set career goal, but at the same time that is freeing. I am no longer confined to one path, one road that I have to follow. My life will have many paths that intertwine and go in separate directions. I like this spontaneity. I am not the type who can do the same thing day after day. We will see where my life takes me. Today, I remembered that I used to write a lot of poetry, but lately I have not. Now, I suppose I will try to pick it up again. Hm.
3 a.m., my solemn friend, alas we meet again.
My eyes toy favorably with the idea of sleep,
but my mind, as always, proves victorious.
My mind, the strong, yet silently fearful friend,
begs constantly for just a hint of the future
but is always denied that treat. The unknown,
to some, is a beautiful thing, but at this hour,
that idea is the enemy of my dreams.
Speaking of dreams, mine have been so vivid this entire summer. I have no idea why. Perhaps, the change in locations? But, back in the Midwest, I am still having strange and interesting dreams. I really wonder if dreams are predicting of the future or thoughts that the depths of your mind contain. I suppose that when my dreams end with a smile on my face, I like to think that they are fragments of reality. But the dreams that are not so good? Of course they are just "figments of my imagination.."
My imagination has been running wild in my dreams. I wish it would run wild in real life too. I need some good stories, or some intrigue... something to keep my mind on.
3 a.m. has become my solemn friend during this past week. I feel as though I have nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to, ever since I've left the city. By 'the city,' I obviously mean New York City. I left so much unfinished business there. This unfinished business is also unknown to me, as I have no idea what is calling me to there after I graduate. But I know it's something. I got a taste of a variety of things while I was there, and I still have a variety of interests. It pains me that I no longer have a set career goal, but at the same time that is freeing. I am no longer confined to one path, one road that I have to follow. My life will have many paths that intertwine and go in separate directions. I like this spontaneity. I am not the type who can do the same thing day after day. We will see where my life takes me. Today, I remembered that I used to write a lot of poetry, but lately I have not. Now, I suppose I will try to pick it up again. Hm.
3 a.m., my solemn friend, alas we meet again.
My eyes toy favorably with the idea of sleep,
but my mind, as always, proves victorious.
My mind, the strong, yet silently fearful friend,
begs constantly for just a hint of the future
but is always denied that treat. The unknown,
to some, is a beautiful thing, but at this hour,
that idea is the enemy of my dreams.
Speaking of dreams, mine have been so vivid this entire summer. I have no idea why. Perhaps, the change in locations? But, back in the Midwest, I am still having strange and interesting dreams. I really wonder if dreams are predicting of the future or thoughts that the depths of your mind contain. I suppose that when my dreams end with a smile on my face, I like to think that they are fragments of reality. But the dreams that are not so good? Of course they are just "figments of my imagination.."
My imagination has been running wild in my dreams. I wish it would run wild in real life too. I need some good stories, or some intrigue... something to keep my mind on.
