4/18/11
11:51 PM: I turn 21 in 9 minutes. I am not out with friends.
11:52 PM: I am in my room, watching "Pride and Prejudice," but the DVD started skipping. Can nothing go right for me tonight? As I logged into this site, I saw my last entry in which I talked about how people are disappointing. In this moment, I stand by this statement. But I do wonder: do I expect too much of people? Could that be why I think that people are so disappointing? I think that is a definite possibility.
11:53 PM: Or, perhaps, I am just extremely sensitive. I mean, I am, but do I take things too personally and to heart? I just care so much about people, and I feel like I never get that back... Although, tonight, I do have to say that a lot of unforeseen things occurred that caused my friends to not be able to be with me tonight.
11:54 PM: Speaking of unforeseen... what is to come in this next year? Dumb, predictable question, but I do wonder. My first question: will I get an internship? God, I hope so. No, it will work out, I know it will. Another question: will I ever fall in love? Will any man ever care about me in that way to the extent that I will care about him? Am I unlovable?
11:55 PM: No, I am pretty damn lovable. But am I datable? Again, I think am. I am finally at that point in my life where everything seems pretty set, and I seem pretty settled. I think I'm too much of a wild, free spirit. Whelp, at least I'll keep telling myself that.
11:56 PM: I don't k nw why I decided to start doing this- essentially live-writing my 21st birthday. I did it when I was 16, and I liked the result I think. Except it was a more stream-of-consciousness, poetry type writing. This is just me spilling my thoughts onto the page.
11:57 PM: I suppose writing out my thoughts gives me a sense of company... like there is someone with me at this moment... someone to wish me happiness and tell me they love me. Oh god, is writing going to become my boyfriend? My best friend? Am I going to become so lonely that my mind and the page are my only companions? This is a legitimate fear. I've started to become a loner.
11:58 PM: I am a loner. It all started last summer. I need to not do this. I used to be so damn social and now... this. I spend nights and days alone in my head... driving myself crazy. Am I crazy? No, I can't be. I need to make a change. I need to make thi
11:51 PM: I turn 21 in 9 minutes. I am not out with friends.
11:52 PM: I am in my room, watching "Pride and Prejudice," but the DVD started skipping. Can nothing go right for me tonight? As I logged into this site, I saw my last entry in which I talked about how people are disappointing. In this moment, I stand by this statement. But I do wonder: do I expect too much of people? Could that be why I think that people are so disappointing? I think that is a definite possibility.
11:53 PM: Or, perhaps, I am just extremely sensitive. I mean, I am, but do I take things too personally and to heart? I just care so much about people, and I feel like I never get that back... Although, tonight, I do have to say that a lot of unforeseen things occurred that caused my friends to not be able to be with me tonight.
11:54 PM: Speaking of unforeseen... what is to come in this next year? Dumb, predictable question, but I do wonder. My first question: will I get an internship? God, I hope so. No, it will work out, I know it will. Another question: will I ever fall in love? Will any man ever care about me in that way to the extent that I will care about him? Am I unlovable?
11:55 PM: No, I am pretty damn lovable. But am I datable? Again, I think am. I am finally at that point in my life where everything seems pretty set, and I seem pretty settled. I think I'm too much of a wild, free spirit. Whelp, at least I'll keep telling myself that.
11:56 PM: I don't k nw why I decided to start doing this- essentially live-writing my 21st birthday. I did it when I was 16, and I liked the result I think. Except it was a more stream-of-consciousness, poetry type writing. This is just me spilling my thoughts onto the page.
11:57 PM: I suppose writing out my thoughts gives me a sense of company... like there is someone with me at this moment... someone to wish me happiness and tell me they love me. Oh god, is writing going to become my boyfriend? My best friend? Am I going to become so lonely that my mind and the page are my only companions? This is a legitimate fear. I've started to become a loner.
11:58 PM: I am a loner. It all started last summer. I need to not do this. I used to be so damn social and now... this. I spend nights and days alone in my head... driving myself crazy. Am I crazy? No, I can't be. I need to make a change. I need to make thi
