Bipolar II Disorder.
That was the diagnosis about a year ago. At first, I cried -- I had a disorder? Something more than just depression? What was this going to mean for my life, my goals?
Okay, so it turns out it's kind of a bitch to live with. Stability has become somewhat of a rare thing, though I'm getting closer with these meds. I've discovered that manic phases aren't always fun, especially when I get all the agitation and restlessness without the good mood. I've also discovered that mixed episodes are really, really bad for me and my health.
But most of all, I've learned about myself and my limits. I've learned that if I can just make it through one day, I can make it through the rest of the phase and switch into something new. I've learned how to channel the energy of manic phases into productive things like working out or focusing on tasks. I've learned to take every day as it comes, without expectation, and always be thankful that it's not something worse. For instance, I'm Bipolar II, meaning I don't often experience the full-blown, psychotic manic phases. I've had one or two instances of it, and I'm glad it doesn't happen every time I switch out of the depressed phase.
I've also learned to communicate more. My moods are fairly unpredictable to others, but I've learned how to carefully monitor the signs and I can predict and help counteract the effects. Since I'm in a committed relationship, I'm always very careful to warn my partner what's up ahead, so we can work through it together.
Really, Bipolar Disorder is just one more thing to make me stronger. I'm almost on top of it now, and if I can manage this, I can manage anything.
That was the diagnosis about a year ago. At first, I cried -- I had a disorder? Something more than just depression? What was this going to mean for my life, my goals?
Okay, so it turns out it's kind of a bitch to live with. Stability has become somewhat of a rare thing, though I'm getting closer with these meds. I've discovered that manic phases aren't always fun, especially when I get all the agitation and restlessness without the good mood. I've also discovered that mixed episodes are really, really bad for me and my health.
But most of all, I've learned about myself and my limits. I've learned that if I can just make it through one day, I can make it through the rest of the phase and switch into something new. I've learned how to channel the energy of manic phases into productive things like working out or focusing on tasks. I've learned to take every day as it comes, without expectation, and always be thankful that it's not something worse. For instance, I'm Bipolar II, meaning I don't often experience the full-blown, psychotic manic phases. I've had one or two instances of it, and I'm glad it doesn't happen every time I switch out of the depressed phase.
I've also learned to communicate more. My moods are fairly unpredictable to others, but I've learned how to carefully monitor the signs and I can predict and help counteract the effects. Since I'm in a committed relationship, I'm always very careful to warn my partner what's up ahead, so we can work through it together.
Really, Bipolar Disorder is just one more thing to make me stronger. I'm almost on top of it now, and if I can manage this, I can manage anything.
